Because
there is no modern age precedent to Covid, there’s no way to know how the
dramatic lifestyle changes affect children. But now, ten months in, parents are
starting to notice things, and fortunately some are positive. Writing for the New York Times, Christina Caron
interviewed parents whose kids found pleasure in simplicity, expressed
gratitude, bounced back from trauma, and in some cases thrived. She found
parents who now better understand how their children learn, and in some cases,
do not learn. In some cases clarity, in some, hope.
Speaking
for myself, I would have thought my son would’ve been much more gutted at being
deprived of his college commencement. This is not to say he was OK. He wasn’t.
Receiving his degree by mail was bittersweet. But it turned out he’d made
really good friends at college, and had nurtured friendships here in the Hudson
Valley, and all these kids really showed up for each other, and gave each other
invaluable support, either socially-distanced, or via FaceTime. That has
continued. Covid, I think, has strengthened these bonds. This is something they
will talk about for years. As Christina Caron says in her article, small gestures can lift each other up.
Caron also
points out: kids appreciate honesty. Her
conversation with mom and child care proprietor Anna Thompson resonated with
me. Thompson had her first panic
attack, which, she says, exposed her “inner mess.”
When the
panic attack happened, Thompson spoke openly with her children about it, and noticed
that, “becoming more honest about her feelings helped normalize those kinds of
emotions for her kids.”
READ MORE: 2020 was an opportunity for me to connect with my kids
I can only
add that my son has seen me cry more in the last year than in the previous
twenty-one. Not necessarily because I’m crying more (although I am), but also
because he’s around more. And it hasn’t freaked him out. On the contrary, I
think he’s been glad to feel useful in helping his parents get through this,
which he has.
Caron
discovered there’s no one-size-fits-all
solution to how children learn, meaning some kids absolutely cannot
distance learn, and now their parents – like millions of others – will have a
renewed appreciation going forward for brick-and-mortar schools, and teachers. Conversely,
some kids have done better remotely. As a guitar teacher, I have seen this as
well.
Caron
says, never underestimate a child’s
imagination. She mentions Karen Pomerantz and her husband, who “always felt
pressured to rush their kids off to enriching and fun places and activities,
like children’s museums and soccer, dance and exercise classes.” Without the
option to overschedule, their kids were able to entertain themselves with found
objects in the house, books, puzzles, and the like.
The phrase
“silver lining” is never mentioned. But many parents have admitted some
positivity has come from their pandemic family life. If not positivity, then
renewed appreciation for what they had, and, for some, what they look forward
to having again. All of them now know better the resilience of children, and of
themselves.