I wake up
early and hope to sneak in a quick shower before turning on my computer. On a
good day, the baby will sleep in a little bit, but most days (like today)
require a bit more juggling – bottles, formula, diapers, shampoo, toothbrush,
wipes, rinse, repeat. After getting dressed, which takes a considerable amount
of time when you have company, I tidy up a bit. I fold the blankets, make the
bed, add to the dishes in the sink and get to them if I can, and then power on
my laptop. This usually starts the soundtrack for my day: *ding* *ding* *ding.* Now, it’s 8am.
Soon after,
it’s time for breakfast. The toaster pops, my email dings, cue the sound of the
clicking keyboard in response while I’m also singing a song to turn impatience
into giggling. The phone rings but I miss it because I’m cleaning up spilled
yogurt off the floor and trying to make a mental note to change my shirt before
leaving the house. While brushing Flynn’s teeth, I return voice messages – if only
they could see me dancing on the other end of the phone. “Of course, I can
squeeze that in,” I say while trying to dress a naked, running toddler around
the house, hoping that within the next hour I have before leaving for physical
therapy I become a superhuman octopus.
Run those
reports that my coworker needs, make sure that the diaper bag is stocked, miss
another phone call because I’m changing Flynn’s diaper, answer one last email, get
into the car later than expected and begin our journey to physical therapy. No, I didn’t remember to change my shirt.
Physical
therapy ran a bit long because we were a few minutes late, but I do have to run
to the store for more almond milk. I’m so scattered that I forgot it during our
last grocery shopping trip, but I swear it was on the list. We have to be quick,
though, because I have a meeting in an hour. Park the car, pull out the
stroller, head to the non-dairy aisle, breeze through self-checkout, back in
the car, fold the stroller, load it up, rush back home. Luckily, we make it
home just in time.
During my
meeting, I make Flynn lunch while taking notes of things to remember and
accomplish. Did you know that it’s possible to spread peanut butter with the
butter knife handle in your mouth? It takes practice but, believe me, it is. “Sure,
I can have it to you by tomorrow morning,” I promise, just before I have to
leave the meeting early. Flynn’s next appointment is in five minutes and I need
to get him ready. Today, we have two sessions back to back. Did I take the chicken out of the freezer
for dinner?
By the
time therapy is over, the office is technically closed, but I have another four
hours to put in ahead of me. Just because there is work to do, however, doesn’t
mean everything else stops. The chicken is still frozen, so I improvise a pasta
dish and try my best to work in whatever non-frozen protein I can find. While I’m
cooking, I check messages and snack on some cereal as I realize that I haven’t eaten
at all today. Oh, and I’m preparing another dish for Flynn, too. Hopefully, he’s in the mood for pastina and
broccoli!
After
dinner, it’s bath time. Thankfully, my husband offers to help me out; so, after
sweeping up pasta, I get some uninterrupted time in with my laptop for the first
time today. It’s short-lived, but it’s helpful. I have work to do, but quality
time is way more important. I would much rather sing the ABCs on a loop or work
on stacking blocks now as a family and work late into the night, than miss special
moments like this. As we start winding Flynn down, begin his bedtime routine, and
kiss him goodnight, I wish I could be headed off to dreamland, too. Alas, there
are deadlines, unanswered requests, and other tasks that I need to tend to, like that pile of clean clothes from earlier
in the week that needs to be put away, for example. A mother’s work is simply never done.
As a mom
who works from home, I have heard many insults and I can attest that:
No, I don’t spend all day in my pajamas.
No, I don’t get to watch television all day long.
No, I don’t get paid to “play with my baby.”
No, I don’t just sit around and scroll through social media all day.
No, it’s not the “easy way out.”
Being a work-from-home mom means that you work twenty-four seven, three-hundred
and sixty-five at two jobs. There are pros and cons and it’s non-stop, but it
is worth every second.
I feel
that there is a lot of shaming when it comes to the various “classes” of
motherhood. I can speak personally about my experience as a work-from-home mom,
but I know many other mothers who are some of the most incredible people I have
ever met. And let’s face it, when it comes down to it, whether you’re a working
mom, a stay-at-home mom, a work-from-home mom, a single mom, a stepmom, a mom
of multiples, a mom of many, or a mom of one…we are doing the hardest, most
amazing, work there is.
Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. You can read my posts here every Tuesday! Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy.
Other posts by this this blogger
Aug 6, 2020
By nature, by design, in all ways, I am a helper – even my Enneagram says so. I always have been.
Aug 6, 2020
We do hard, painful work, but then we come home to each other and continue to live the truth that we know.
Aug 6, 2020
COVID-19 is causing fear in many and panic in others. In some way, however, we all feel the anxiety – and possibly the soreness of dry hands.
Aug 6, 2020
The idea of inclusivity is a beautiful thing - people of all types of abilities playing together, being accepting/accepted and kind. What is the reality?
Aug 6, 2020
Please join us in the movement!
Oct 1, 2019
Every person in a baby’s life – grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings, cousins, and friends – could and should be responsible for keeping him or her healthy.
Sep 23, 2019
I've just gotten so used to carrying all of this weight that it appears to be much lighter to anyone looking in. Or maybe they just don't see me.
Sep 10, 2019
The event was a one mile walk/run for people of all abilities, and we were proud to race alongside every participant sporting our capes for our team, Flynn's Superheroes.
Sep 3, 2019
September is NICU Awareness Month. Though the time and place is difficult for me to revisit, I know that it is so crucial to do.
Aug 27, 2019
It's Hudson Valley Parent's 25th Anniversary, so I'm sharing why I blog.
Aug 20, 2019
I sat down with Occupational Therapist Elizabeth Harnett Ms,otr/l to get your top questions about occupational therapy answered.
Aug 13, 2019
This past weekend we attended the 2nd Annual Sunflower Cutting Event hosted by Hudson Valley Cold Pressed Oils in Pleasant Valley.
Aug 6, 2019
This past week may have been Shark Week, but for us, it was “Vehicle Week.” We used our bodies, our senses, and our imaginations to explore all there is to know about things that go!
Jul 30, 2019
I’m a mom, and those three letters carry so much weight, responsibility, and love in so many different ways for every type of mother.
Jul 23, 2019
Hey, I know it's not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I'd rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like you. You don't sing, you don't dance. So grey all the time!
Jul 16, 2019
This past Saturday, our family attended a Superhero Breakfast at the Old Dutch Church in Port Ewen. The event benefited the non-profit organization Christmas Wishes Ulster County.
Jul 9, 2019
You’re sorry that this life that we never asked for is the one that we have. But I’m not sorry.
Jul 2, 2019
My intent for the month of July is to “be present,” but I want to make this my top bucket list item for the entire summer.
Jun 25, 2019
I know that this is what he needs, so I have no regrets, but as a mom, I feel lesser than.
Jun 18, 2019
Here some things that you should know, being in the support system of a family with a preemie.
Jun 11, 2019
I see you. I’ve been there. I see you, your patience, gentleness, and strength, and sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone.
Jun 4, 2019
I'm a work in progress, but I know a lot about building self-confidence that I need to share with you.
May 28, 2019
In honor of this year’s Stroke Awareness Month coming to an end, I wanted to share my personal story.
May 21, 2019
Ask the questions. Become more knowledgeable. Practice inclusivity. Be compassionate.
May 14, 2019
Have you gotten caught up in the competition of motherhood?
May 7, 2019
We’ve become pretty good friends here, right? I think we have, so I’m going to be honest with you. Ready? Let's talk about the IFSP...
Apr 30, 2019
As a mother of a child with developmental delays, I am often asked the question: “When should I worry that my baby isn’t _______ yet?” and I want to offer my advice.
Apr 23, 2019
There are certain things that are important to remember when you have a loved one with sensory needs.
Apr 16, 2019
Here is a collection of books that never get old at our house, recommended by a pretty cool two-year-old...
Apr 9, 2019
With all of the focus on the negative, it’s hard to remember that there is so much more to two! There are many other things that come with two that are unbelievably far from terrible.
Apr 2, 2019
I sat down with a very special preemie dad to ask some important questions.
Mar 26, 2019
So many books tell us that we need to pursue our greatest dreams and be more than just who we are. But wait, what if that’s not my dream?
Mar 19, 2019
With premature birth being a huge concern in this country, it’s important to spread knowledge and awareness. Can the entertainment industry help with this?
Mar 12, 2019
As a new mom, I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew this wasn’t “normal.” When you don't know what to do, where can you seek help?
Mar 5, 2019
In what ways can prematurity change your parenting? For me, preemie life has lasted long beyond leaving the NICU.
Feb 26, 2019
How can you include self-care into your life without it feeling like work?
Feb 19, 2019
mom•guilt /mahm-gilt/ (noun): the unhappy feelings caused by thinking or feeling like you did something wrong, like missing your child blink, not having time to make teacher gifts, or forgetting that they don’t like scrambled eggs this week.
Feb 12, 2019
How can the stages of grief apply to the NICU experience?
Feb 5, 2019
The words that we choose are more important to children than we realize. How can vocabulary be changed to create a more positive environment?
Jan 29, 2019
We take our toys very seriously at our house. These are some of our favorites! What are yours?
Jan 15, 2019
Did you know that quick additions and modifications to your current routine can create a more regulated sensory environment for your child? Check out these tips to incorporate sensory activities into your every day!
Jan 8, 2019
Premature babies have immature immune systems and get sick more easily than babies born at term. Learn the precautions that can be taken to minimize risk.
Jan 1, 2019
What makes a New Year's resolution?
Dec 25, 2018
If you know a family that is in the NICU during the holidays, here are a few ideas to make their days merry and bright.
Dec 18, 2018
This year, I organized a Twelve Days of Christmas Crafting Extravaganza for Flynn. Each activity is sensory focused but is also so fun and, of course, holiday-themed.
Dec 11, 2018
After being admitted to the hospital at 27-weeks pregnant with a sudden and severe case of preeclampsia, Kristina's pregnancy went from amazing to scary. At 28-weeks, she gave birth to her son Flynn via emergency c-section. This is Flynn's story.