When we think of Valentine’s Day we conjure up romantic
images of a couple eating a gourmet meal at a swanky restaurant, as gifts of
chocolate, a dozen red roses and fine jewelry are bestowed upon the woman.
I am pretty lucky I lived out that fantasy in my twenties (my
husband always added to my jewelry collection over the years when we were
dating and we definitely did the overpriced upscale dining experience) but once
you reach the parenthood stage things begin to change on the most romantic and
highly expensive day of the year. According
to a 2018 survey by the National Retail Federation an estimated $19.6 billion
was spent for this “Hallmark holiday.”
In other words a commercial holiday that has been created to get us to
spend (technically the guys in our lives; sorry men!) money on items like cards, expensive
dinners, flowers, jewelry, chocolate and other gifts.
So after having two kids I have a created a list of the
kinds of Valentine’s Day gifts that exist:
1. 1. Gifts Are Not Exchanged: Simply put it, I do not expect my husband to
buy me a piece of fine jewelry, perfume or anything I am secretly wanting. We
make a pact and decide we are not exchanging anything. I state every year around this time “please
don’t waste your money and get me flowers because they will die anyhow”. But how likely are you to stick to not
getting your spouse something so you then proceed to Number 2 on this
list.
2. 2. Heartfelt Gifts Have More Meaning: I
decided I was still going to get my husband a small gift with meaning to it,
less costly but more sentimental. He is
always complaining we don’t have enough family pictures in the house so I
surprised him with a full size canvas picture of our family and
hung it right over the fireplace. He
absolutely loved it and couldn’t stop talking about it.
3. 3. Individual Gifts are Now Couple Gifts For The
House. So now that you got the
heartfelt gift out of the way you now turn to the exchanging of gifts that are
only for the house. This is particularly
true for us as we are starting on a bathroom renovation. We both tell each other we don’t want to
exchange gifts (Number 1 on the list) and then we agree our money is better
spent towards something for our house.
4. 4. You Purchase Gifts For Kids That Are Not
Yours: This one is definitely true
for those parents who have elementary aged children. The age old exchanging of Valentines in
school. Except this one becomes running
out to the Dollar Store to find the shelves empty, remembering that the
Valentine’s Day cards had to be Shopkins ones (I better not come home with the
Barbie ones like I did last year- my bad!) gathering what you can find left there to
make cute and crafty gifts for your daughter at 10:00 pm at night.
5. 5. Just More Unnecessary Gifts for your Children: This turns into just another pile of
unnecessary collection of small items given to you by your child’s grandparents,
classmates, as well as yourself. I am
definitely guilty of this. Earlier this
evening, I handed my daughter a small gift bag to add to the clutter to you her
room. But who really cares she was in her glory. However, as I stated in last week’s blog those
small gifts may make it to the garbage can in a few months if A.) I can’t find a match to one of the pieces or
B.) I don’t know where it is supposed to be stored.
Now instead of those romantic gifts on this special
“holiday”, the gifts become more practical, meaningful, crafty, adorable and
perhaps unnecessary. My previous belief
about Valentine’s Day being for me to be wined and dined and bestowed
extravagant gifts are replaced by my joy in giving to my husband, children and
those other kids who are not mine.
Other articles by Karen DeMaio