When we think of Valentine’s Day we conjure up romantic images of a couple eating a gourmet meal at a swanky restaurant, as gifts of chocolate, a dozen red roses and fine jewelry are bestowed upon the woman.
I am pretty lucky I lived out that fantasy in my twenties (my husband always added to my jewelry collection over the years when we were dating and we definitely did the overpriced upscale dining experience) but once you reach the parenthood stage things begin to change on the most romantic and highly expensive day of the year.
According to the National Retail Federation, Americans now spend well over $25 billion on Valentine’s Day each year, with recent totals reaching $27.5 billion in 2025 and climbing even higher for 2026.
In short, the “Hallmark holiday” has only grown more commercial driven by big spending on cards, flowers, jewelry, chocolate, prix-fixe dinners, and all the other classic gifts retailers love to spotlight.
So, after having two kids I have a created a list of the kinds of Valentine’s Day gifts that exist:
Gifts are not exchanged: Simply put it, I do not expect my husband to buy me a piece of fine jewelry, perfume or anything I am secretly wanting. We make a pact and decide we are not exchanging anything. I state every year around this time “please don’t waste your money and get me flowers because they will die anyhow”. But how likely are you to stick to not getting your spouse something so you then proceed to Number 2 on this list.
Heartfelt gifts have more meaning: I decided I was still going to get my husband a small gift with meaning to it, less costly but more sentimental. He is always complaining we don’t have enough family pictures in the house, so I surprised him with a full-size canvas picture of our family and hung it right over the fireplace. He absolutely loved it and couldn’t stop talking about it.
Individual gifts are now couple gifts for the house: So now that you got the heartfelt gift out of the way you now turn to the exchanging of gifts that are only for the house. This is particularly true for us as we are starting on a bathroom renovation. We both tell each other we don’t want to exchange gifts (Number 1 on the list) and then we agree our money is better spent towards something for our house.
READ MORE: Hudson Valley Valentine's Day Celebrations
You purchase gifts for kids that are not yours: This one is definitely true for those parents who have elementary aged children. The age-old exchanging of Valentines in school. Except this one becomes running out to the Dollar Store to find the shelves empty, remembering that the Valentine’s Day cards had to be Shopkins ones (I better not come home with the Barbie ones like I did last year- my bad!) gathering what you can find left there to make cute and crafty gifts for your daughter at 10:00 pm at night.
Just more unnecessary gifts for your children: This turns into just another pile of unnecessary collection of small items given to you by your child’s grandparents, classmates, as well as yourself. I am definitely guilty of this. Earlier this evening, I handed my daughter a small gift bag to add to the clutter to her room. But who really cares she was in her glory. However, those small gifts may make it to the garbage can in a few months if I can’t find a match to one of the pieces or I can’t decide where to store it.
Now instead of those romantic gifts on this special “holiday”, the gifts become more practical, meaningful, crafty, adorable and perhaps unnecessary. My previous belief about Valentine’s Day being for me to be wined and dined and bestowed extravagant gifts are replaced by my joy in giving to my husband, children and those other kids who are not mine.
Other articles by Karen DeMaio