Anxiety is a normal emotion, even in
the best of times. But, as with cases of depression, the pandemic is seeing a
rise in clinical anxiety, especially in teenagers. They’re having difficulty
sleeping, they’re eating differently and spending even more time on the phone. Clinicians
are reaching out not only to kids, but also to you as their parents, offering
words of advice and encouragement.
In her “Parental Advisory” column for lifehacker.com, Meghan Moravcik Walbert very helpfully fields
a letter from a mom distressed about her ability to properly address her
daughter’s increasing anxiety, her dietary changes, sleeplessness, and in
particular her apparent need to be around her parents, making it harder for
them to tend to two other kids under the same roof. After noting how touched
she is by the letter writer’s concern for her daughter, Walbert points out a
refreshing aspect: the mom knows she needs help. As she writes: “It’s hard for
parents to put themselves first (or even near the top of the list) when so many
other fires are burning at the same time.” And yet the mom in distress is,
thankfully, doing just that.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Barbara
Greenberg weighs in specifically about the daughter’s “proximity seeking,” --
her apparent need to be around her mother more: “My guess is the mother has a
lot of anxiety, and moods and anxiety are very contagious,” she says. “I think
the kid is picking up on her mother’s anxiety.”
Walbert advises more structure,
which, on the face of it, may seem the opposite of what’s needed. As she puts
it: “What the family needs right now is more structure during
a time when it feels easier (or kinder) to be lax on rules and routines” and feels
counterintuitive.
But Greenberg notes a breakdown in
household structure can become problematic. Chaos, essentially, increases
anxiety. Structure, she maintains, is calming.
The article suggests more structure
and, imperatively, self care you, as a parent. When kids know you’re looking out for
yourself, it will calm them and lead them to do the same for themselves.
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