All parents I know have wrestled
with exactly how and when to shield children from emotional harm.
You forbid
certain games or shows; you turn the TV off when something inappropriate
happens; you stop talking to your spouse about something “adult” when the kids
are afoot. And yet there are times when we can’t, and shouldn’t, do those
things. We need to explain something like the historic January 6th
domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol Building. Writing for Fatherly, editor
Murphy Moroney and parenting expert and educational psychologist Reena B.
Patel offer some helpful insight into constructive ways to go about this.
The attack in response to
Trump losing a second term is too critical to ignore, though of course the
magnitude of it can be intimidating. Moroney writes: “As an act of
domestic terrorism that was incited by a sitting President, speaking with
children about what happened is important. Although parents might be hesitant
to bring up the insurrection with young children, preschool-aged kids can
digest a basic understanding of what happened, particularly if they saw images
or video footage on TV.”
Three particular factors are
crucial to helping your kids process the events: a safe space, asking
questions, and being honest while also being mindful: “When it comes to
discussing these events,” Moroney writes, “be sure to use direct language and
avoid sugar-coating the event with young children.”
READ MORE: Answering our kid’s questions about violence in the world
Dr. Patel says: “State the
facts: A group of individuals broke the law and demonstrated actions that
looked scary and are wrong to make a point. They used hate by destroying the
government and the people’s property. Let [children] know there are rules in
our society and no one, not even [President Trump], can break the rules. That
is why we have the Constitution.”
Don’t shy away from the
violence, Dr. Patel writes: “Violence is a form of hate and even words can
express hate,” she advises you to say. “What happened at the Capitol building
was wrong and there are always other ways to get your point across."
Especially as the rioters
call themselves “patriots,” talk about patriotism, and give examples of what it
looks like, including:
- Saying the Pledge of Allegiance and
thinking about what the words stand for
- Discussing what the stars and stripes on
the flag mean
- Honoring veterans through making cards or
raising money
- Discussing the principles of the
Constitution
- Teaching kids about the voting process
- Explaining what a truly peaceful protest
looks like
The
horrific assault on democracy, and a sacred building and institution, can become
a teaching moment. Not necessarily a pleasant one, but an important one.
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