Middle-school girls participate in an empowerment exercise during
the Live Your Dreams Girls' Conference in Poughkeepsie held last November
Social media's ever-present eyes. Peer judgements. Stereotypes.
By the time most girls in our society reach middle school, the
pressures of prying eyes and unjust expectations has taken a toll on their
self-esteem. Many are left with a diminished sense of their value and who they
are, adversely affecting their ability to make and meet goals.
In fact, seven-in-ten girls believe they are not good enough or do
not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and
relationships with friends and family members, according to Real Girls, Real
Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the
Dove Self-Esteem Fund.
Lori Scolaro is co-chair of the Live Your Dream Girls' Conference,
an annual event held by the Poughkeepsie branch of the American Association of
University Women and the Association of Women at Dutchess Community College
(AAUW).
"The conference provides a forum for girls of diverse
background to nurture a vision for the future," said Scolaro, who works at
the college and is member of the AAUW. "Self-development is a big piece of
how they can affect the world. A lot of times girls are fixed on beauty and
clothes. The event is about helping them realize how much potential they have
to affect the world just by being who they are."
Held last November at Dutchess Community College in Poughkeepsie,
the daylong event included workshops and round-table discussions for about 75
sixth-, seventh- and eighth-grade girls and some of their parents. The agenda
centered on heightening the girls' self-awareness and personal connection to
the world, with each session led by prominent women in the community and
facilitated by AAUW members and college co-eds, all volunteers.
Deborah Keesler of Pawling attended the conference with her
seventh-grade daughter and a friend of
her daughter's. It was the second time Keesler and her daughter participated in
the event.
"It's always nice to see a program for young women,"
said Keesler of the conference. "It's out of the ordinary and offers the
opportunity for the girls to visit a college campus and meet women from all
walks of life. It gives them a sense of (what's available) and is helping them
build their place in the world. It all fits into a greater picture."
During the event's parent program, Keesler heard youth talk about
their day-to-day lives, including their perspective on connecting with friends,
family, communities and the world at-large via social media and their
cellphones, around-the-clock.
Keesler said that while her daughter is self-directed and already
has targeted a career involving aeronautics, she enjoyed connecting with the
conference's leaders, mentors and other attendees. The event also re-affirmed
her belief that that part of the world - her career choice - is accessible,
reasonable and real. It also increased her awareness of STEM and other
opportunities.
As well, Keesler saw that her daughter's friend, blossomed as the
day went on.
"She came back full of energy," said Keesler. "She
had the opportunity to write in her journal and couldn't wait to raise her hand and
share what was in her journal. By the end of the day, the girls were jumping up
to participate."
READ MORE: Parents talk about their daughters' dreams
Social worker and parent of three youngsters, Laura Bagnarol, is
the founder of Be Big Be Brave, an empowerment initiative based in Hopewell
Junction that provides recreational and educational programs and workshops,
mainly for girls.
"Without confidence, girls will have a hard time reaching any
goal and so if we, as parents and educators want to support them in achieving
their goals, we must offer them ways to build their confidence," said
Bagnarol.
While she finds the societal problems
that challenge girls to be nationally universal, including a lack of
confidence, sexual assault/harassment, substance abuse, cyberbullying and
mental health issues like depression and anxiety, Bagnarol believes youth
sports and empowerment programs can help counter their negative effects.
"It's looking at how important it is to remember not what our
bodies look like but what our bodies can do and putting the focus back on that;
reminding girls of their strengths and to use those strengths for good,"
she said.
Part of that includes being brave enough to support each other,
whether it's speaking up when witnessing bullying or otherwise being empathetic
toward others. Another component is the negative side of social media, where
harsh comments can have adversely affect teens' self-esteem. Aside from
personal exchanges are outside messages, which Bagnarol talks with girls about,
such as song lyrics they hear.
"I don't' think the answer is just to take their phones
away," she said of social media's power. "We need to continue to have
conversations and use teaching moments; we, ourselves, have to be present and
have conversations with them."
Locally, she said, the Hudson Valley is lucky to have the support
of community-based youth programs, such as those offered through schools, such
as the Wappingers School District, including her daughter's school, Fishkill
Elementary.
"It's all about shattering gender stereotypes," said
Bagnarol. "It matters, what you're doing in life."
READ MORE: Important conversations to have with your daughter
Anusha Mehar of the Newburgh Free Library is the outreach
coordinator for its Newburgh Girls Code Club (NGCC) that educates groups of 15
girls aged 10-to-18 on coding and career opportunities through STEM learning.
Funded by the Rowley Family Foundation, the NGCC follows the national Girls Who
Code organization, giving the NGCC access to online coding tutorials and other
resources, along with inspiring role models.
The NGCC's 12-week, seasonal program is led by peer and career
mentors, including people with positions in the field.
"In addition to directly teaching our girls how to code and
empowering them with hard skill in differ code languages...we allow them the
opportunity to pursue what (area of expertise) speaks most powerfully to
them," said Mehar.
Currently, she said, although the technical job sector is one of
the fastest growing in the nation, only 30 percent of those jobs belong to
women. For women of color, the percentage drops; more so for women in the
sector's leadership positions.
Among the projects in completed, beta stages by the NGCC's
participants are an app for the City of Newburgh, where the streets' potholes
are geo-tagged for future repair, and an online-positivity bank with uplifting
messages to help inspire teens going through challenges.
"These are learned skills for wherever you go in this
sector," said Mehar, including divergent facets in business. "Tech
touches every sector nowadays," she said. "Banking, mindfulness,
healing - there's almost no sector that's not interwoven with technology."
What's more, because coding involves undergoing many failed tries
before reaching successful ones, learning the technology teaches girls how to
overcome frustrations by pushing through false starts and problem-solving.
"There really is a tremendous amount of opportunity,"
said Mehar. "This program is empowering them and showing them the model of
people who look like them in the sector."
Empowerment Programs for Girls:
• Live Your Dreams Girls' Conference,
aauwpoughkeepsie.org/index.php?page=girls_conf
• Be Big, Be Brave, bebigbebrave.com
• Newburgh Girls Code Club, newburghlibrary.org/youth-services/teens/newburgh-girls-code-club/
Karen Maserjian Shan was the editor for Hudson Valley Parent