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The Shame Game

Have you ever felt shame?

feeling ashamed when gaining weight

Was there ever a period of time in your life where the feeling of shame was the theme?

For me, it was when I regained the weight after having Weight Loss Surgery. It was the day after my wedding when I saw the pictures; when I saw how my back looked in my wedding dress. It was during my first pregnancy when my weight climbed over 300 lbs.

And I moved through it. Had my lap band removed. Got pregnant again and maintained my weight through that pregnancy. I set out to lose 118 lbs this year, 2019, as an “impossible goal,” to reach my goal weight of 159.

And the shame resurfaced last month as my weight slowly crept back up into the 250s. And now I am up 16.2 lbs. I had hit over 75 lbs down in April and now I am 59 lbs down.

Shame came back into my life.

Not by choice. Not intentional. But because it is a pattern in my brain.

Of course when the shame first reappeared this time. I was quite surprised and my brain automatically agreed with it, that it belonged at the table. That I needed to make room for shame to just be around.

Until I realized what was happening. It was through working with my coach that I recognized why it was here. I gained space and distance from it as I decided what I wanted to believe and how I wanted to feel about myself. I gained perspective about what was happening. And I moved through and away from the shame.

Intentionally I choose compassion. It is freeing.

The beauty of this is that I am now an even better coach for my clients than before. This experience IS part of weight loss every single time.

I am not immune to feeling shame. Recognizing this I am better equipped to support my clients when this comes up in their own weight loss journey.

Thoughts are sentences in our minds which create how we feel. Just because your brain offers it, does not mean we need to believe it.

You can create space from the way you think. Emotional freedom is the biggest gift you can give yourself.

Ilana Charette is the life and weight loss coach for women who have had lap band weight loss surgery and are struggling with regain since pregnancy/kids. She teaches women how to trust themselves and their bodies again with self-care, self-integrity, and self-love. She offers one on one coaching where clients become aware of how their brains are working perfectly and are taught how to step into mastery of the brain to create an extraordinary life of abundance and unconditional love -- and permanent weight loss. Find out more about her and follow along as she loses her weight for the final time: and on Instagram. 

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