Even with the topic of sex everywhere in the media, it is still a topic that makes teens and parents squirm when it becomes personal. As uncomfortable as it is, having the conversation with teens makes a difference to whether they are more likely to delay having sex and use condoms when they do according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
READ MORE: REAL TALK: Start the conversation about sex!
What’s even scarier than having the conversation with your children is not knowing what they are saying to each other these days. Between the shorthand lingo and code words that keeping popping up it is almost impossible to keep track of the lingo that teens are using on their smartphones now. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, recent studies indicate that 20 percent of teen boys and girls have sent “sexting” messages. Sexting refers to text messages with pictures of children or teens that are inappropriate in a sexual way.
As parents it is important to keep up with how our children are communicating. Parents should begin to open the communication about sexting before there is a problem and as soon as they are old enough to have a phone. Hudson Valley mom of teens, Patrice Athanasidy in an article for HVParent says that for her, the most important thing is that her young adults feel safe to talk with her. She makes it clear that their safety comes before her judgement. The American Academy of Pediatrics has 8 great tips on talking to kids and teens about sexting.
- Learn about the technology yourself, have a social media account.
- Ask lots of questions.
- Keep the computer or other devices in a main part of your home.
- Talk with other parents to get ideas and share information you can directly ask your child about.
- Be sure to reinforce the fact that everything sent over the internet can be shared with the entire world. Talk about good judgement and legal consequences of sexting or bullying
- Have a strategy for monitoring what they are doing online. Be where they are! Another option is formal monitoring systems.
- Set limits
- Check chat logs and profiles, etc. for inappropriate content
Talk, talk, talk!
Dr. Paul Schwartz gives his advice to parent's on how not to talk about sex.
There are a lot of resources out there and a lot more acronyms and even emojis that you should be familiar with. We asked around and found some of the more commonly used ones we think you should know. How many of these do your children know?