Careful
what you wish for. Parents who rejoiced to learn their kids’ school was once
again having on-site teaching in the era of Covid may be unpleasantly surprised
to learn their new freedom comes with a price: separation anxiety.
According
to clinical psychologist Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D., this is normal and,
thankfully, treatable. She would know: in Motherly.com, she writes about her own experiences as a
mother of two who, like many parents last March, was forced to become a
stay-at-home parent and early child educator overnight. Suffice to say, it
was taxing, and she looked forward to it being over.
However,
a few weeks into getting her wish, DiMarco writes: “When my sons leave in the morning, I feel unsettled and twitchy. I try to
focus on work but my mind drifts to what my kids might be doing and whether
they're being safe, knowing that I have zero control over this.”
Upon
realizing she is, in fact, experiencing symptoms of separation anxiety, DiMarco
reaches out to expert child psychologist Dr. Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, author
of The Tantrum Survival Guide. In an effort to help other parents
suffering similarly, they’ve adapted strategies for kids with difficulty
separating from their parents to tips for helping parents who have
difficulty separating from their kids.
READ MORE: 10 activities to encourage mindfulness
Among
other tips, they advise mindfulness, rather than fighting the anxiety, accept
it and let it “wash over you like a wave.” Accept that you have no control. Also,
speaking of mindfulness, in the same way kids take cues from you, you can now
take cues from them. For example, if they’re outwardly chilling, you can
probably tap into that.
Acknowledging
connection is another strategy. Leave notes in backpacks, get identical
temporary tattoos. Also, be on the lookout for your own reassurance seeking. In
the same way kids with separation anxiety might repeatedly ask questions, a
parent with separation anxiety might feel compelled to pepper a child with
questions about their day. Apparently, this not only annoys kids, it also
actually contributes to parental separation anxiety.
Hang in there!
Other articles by HVP News Reporters