How to raise kind and caring children



3 tips from experts

How to raise kind and caring children


At some point, many parents will likely find themselves encouraging their children to “be kind” or “be friendly.” While they lead with the best of intentions, nearly all parents will worry about whether their child is kind to others when adults are not around.

“We often encourage children to be friends with everyone, but that’s unrealistic,” said Carter Peters from KinderCare’s Inclusion Services team. “We don’t have to be friends with everyone, but we do need to be friendly with everyone. When children learn to respect everyone, even those they don’t like, they help create a kinder, more welcoming community.”

While children are generally kind, it’s possible they might internalize societal messages that equate kindness with weakness. With a little help, children can develop a sense of empathy, which can help them have positive interactions with others whether they’re on the playground, in the classroom or at home.

Consider these three ways parents can encourage empathy:

  1. Try a new twist on “what did you do today?” Find a consistent time during the day – at pick up, during dinner or before bedtime – to ask your child, “How did you help someone today?” or “How were you kind to someone today?” Be sure to offer your own examples from your day, too. This helps your child understand the connection between his or her actions and kindness to others. It also opens the conversation for you and your child to discuss missed opportunities to show kindness, how you could both do better next time and how you and your child could show kindness in the future.

  2. Intentionally call out acts of kindness. Go beyond a simple “thank you” and be specific about why the action was kind: “That was so kind of you to clear the table after dinner. Your help made cleanup go faster. I appreciate that.” Don’t forget to use this same technique with other family members, too. Ask your child what compliments he or she likes to hear and encourage him or her to do the same for others. This teaches empathy and encourages children to treat others the way they want to be treated.

  3. Build a toolbox of responses for tough situations. First, help your child build emotional literacy skills by helping him or her learn to identify and name feelings. Then work together to identify appropriate expressions of those feelings.

“Children need to learn they can express big emotions, like frustration or anger, without taking those feelings out on others,” Peters said.

Some healthy ways to react to emotional moments could be to find a quiet place to calm down, talk with a trusted adult like a teacher, squeeze fists or name the feeling: “I’m so angry right now.”

The ability to think and react rationally diminishes when angry, so practicing potential responses while in a calm, low-stress state is essential to helping children learn to apply those responses when they’re upset. Having this toolbox of responses to rely on also gives children the autonomy of deciding how best to respond to an emotionally difficult situation, which can lead to a sense of empowerment when they realize they chose to act kindly despite their emotions.

For more tips about raising kind and caring children, visit kindercare.com.

Courtesy Family Features  



Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Get Hooked on Fishing, Not Drugs

    Third Annual Orange County District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby

    The Third District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby will run from April 1 through Sept. 4, 2023. The event is open to young people between the ages of 4 and 18 who are children or grandchildren of Orange County residents. read more »
  • Kids aren't eating fruits and veggies

    Happiest Baby's Dr. Harvey Karp has tips to change that

    A new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that approximately 32% of 1- to 5-year-olds did not eat a single piece of fruit a day and nearly one half (~49%) didn't eat any vegetables a day. Roughly 51% drank a sugar-sweetened beverage, like fruit drinks or soda, at least once a week. read more »
  • 5 sleep habits essential for heart health

    Make sure you get your zzz's with these tips

    In the days following a time change due to daylight saving time, research shows a marked increase in heart attacks and strokes. However, losing sleep anytime can be a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease. read more »
  • Take these 6 steps to manage your blood pressure

    Hypertension can be dangerous

    High blood pressure, also known as hypertension, affects nearly half of adults in the United States, and only about 1 in 4 with this condition have it under control, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). read more »
  • Make your St. Patrick's Day spread green with envy

    These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or an appetizer

    Freshen up your St. Patrick’s Day menu with easy, light sandwiches inspired by the traditional color of the festivities. These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or even as an appetizer for get-togethers with friends and family. read more »
  • Lucky mint brownie perfection

    A twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate

    How lucky you must be to come across this recipe just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This one is a twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate that’s sure to have almost anyone’s taste buds screaming “yum.” This dessert might just be the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow this year. read more »
  • 3 ways parents can encourage social emotional learning in children

    Parents focus on social emotional skills, mental health, kindness and understanding differences

    Most parents would agree the quality of their children’s education plays a key role in their overall development. While parents are optimistic about the future of education, they also recognize children have educational needs beyond what is considered the standard. read more »
  • Selecting a health care provider

    Resources to guide your selection

    Getting health care for yourself or a loved one is a big responsibility, especially if you’re just getting started with Medicare or have changes in your life, such as a new diagnosis of a condition or disease. It can be overwhelming if you need services like nursing home care, have to find a new doctor or get home health care. read more »
  • 5 simple solutions for proper nasal hygiene

    Keep your nasal passages clean, clear and moisturized

    Your nose is essential for conditioning the air you breathe and serves as the first line of defense against dust, pollution, bacteria, viruses and more. The presence of these substances in your nasal passages can trigger infections, disease and illness. read more »
  • Have a bump on your foot?

    Don’t ignore it

    Have a lump or bump on your foot? Whether it’s painful or not, it could potentially signal a serious condition. Foot and ankle surgeons warn it’s important to have it checked out, no matter its size or location on your foot. read more »