It’s easy to lie to a toddler
or preschooler, and it can be hard to explain complex things like the reasons
for vaccinations. Or, rather, “getting a shot.”
The very word “shot” is
unfortunate, because it immediately conveys violence. “You’re getting a shot in
your arm with a needle.” Most children will be upset about this, no matter how
much you try to explain you could be saving, improving, or prolonging their
life. So sometimes parents lie until the last moment, often because of their
own anxiety.
Therapist and mom Gabrielle Applebury understands. In a recent article she details how, in
trying to understand why she became so anxious prior to her daughter’s doctor
visits. She recalled well visits of her own childhood, in which she anxiously
wondered if she were getting a shot. Discomfort was worsened by her mother, who
could not, or would not, give a straight answer about whether or not a shot was
imminent.
She writes: “The fact that I
couldn't prepare for what would take place at the doctor's office somehow made
the experience much worse, even if I didn't end up getting a vaccine. With
my daughter, I decided to help her ease into this experience with the
opportunity to feel more prepared about the situation.”
READ MORE: How do I handle my child's well visits and immunizations?
In her practice, Applebury
deals with anxious people, and knows how to help them feel prepared for
something that makes them uncomfortable. She helps them feel a sense of
control.
“When my daughter was old
enough to understand what was happening,” she writes, “I started to speak with
her about upcoming doctor appointments and what was going to happen.
Although no kid is a fan of getting shots, I could see that the more she
understood, the more at ease she was with these appointments.”
First off, Applebury says to
never tell your toddler more than two days before the well visit that they’re
getting a shot, as that gives more time for anxiety to build up. Once you do
tell them, she suggests you role play with your child. A doctor toy kit, with
which you can give each other “play vaccines,” is a good start.
When Applebury tells her
little one the doctor visit is imminent, she says there will be “a little ouch”
but it will be followed by a cool Band Aid and a treat. She also suggests modeling behavior. Allow
your toddler to give you the shot, and take a breath beforehand. And most
important, if they express nervousness, validate
their feelings.
You can wait until they’re
older to go into detail about how much you improved their life by getting them
vaccinated.
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