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Parenting from different perspectives



The key to a happy family is respectful parents

discipline, parents, kids, united, marriage, healthy

Tonya Cotto has written in moms.com about the discord that can occur when parents differ in their basic parenting philosophies and protocols.

“Most couples can find common ground when it comes to most things in their marriage. As a result, they are often entirely caught off guard when differences arise due to parenting,” she notes. “The inability to agree on how to handle tasks like discipline, bedtimes, or chores often lean to a couple of breaking points. Couples find themselves in uncharted territory, leaving their relationship is chaos and disarray.”

Cotto suggests that part of the problem may stem from sentimentalizing parenting, so the children come before the marriage, instead of striving for a united front from both parents.

“United parenting teaches the children patience, collaboration, commitment, respect, healthy boundaries, and so much more,” she points out. “Our greatest gift to our children can be to model a relationship that they will strive to have one day.”

How to do this? Cotto suggests having older couples as mentors, and not necessarily from one’s pool of relatives.  She also points out that, “How we talk to each other and our children cultivates our relationship. As a couple, how you discuss essential topics, especially in front of the kids, helps them experience ‘healthy’ conversation… honoring your child's other parent will teach them to honor you.”

Just as important, always remember that as parents, you model behavior for your kids. Let anger go. Be open and honest, but also predictable. Be as understanding with your parenting partner as you are with your child and be prepared to accommodate differing parenting attitudes to different parenting tasks. And always keep the possibility of therapy and counseling open to yourselves as a couple.

“Parenting does not need to be the survival of the fittest, but more like the united front of positive modeled behaviors,” Cotto concludes.

Talk about useful maxims, especially given today’s many challenges.




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