Separation anxiety normally begins before the age of one but
fades away by around the age of 3. A small percentage of kids continue to
exhibit symptoms such as clinging to parents, as well as tears or brief
tantrums immediately before or after parents' departure. In some cases, such
behavior continues into the school years and may be accompanied by stomachaches
or headaches.
As parents cope with the complexities of the pandemic,
especially in the case of essential workers who may be home less often than
usual, symptoms of increased or revived separation anxiety can present a
poignant challenge. The New York Times cites research on the
best ways to respond to children's anxiety and when to solicit medical
attention.
Anxiety is a normal protective emotion that kicks in as
children become more aware of their parents' importance and their own ability
to walk away. If tantrums last for a long time or persist for months, or if
they are so prevalent, your child has trouble with age-appropriate activities,
seek the help of a specialist in therapeutic treatment of pediatric anxiety. A
therapist can use cognitive-behavioral methods to help your child, as well as
giving you advice on responding to anxious behavior.
Here are methods psychologists recommend for relating to
both normal and pandemic-heightened separation anxiety.
1. Coping with meltdowns. Some parents try to forestall
anxious behavior by staying in view of the child and avoiding situations that
require separation, but in the long run, it's better to teach children to deal
with anxiety, an important life skill, said Golda Ginsburg, Ph.D., professor of
psychiatry at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine. After a
tantrum, when your child has calmed down enough to pay attention, affirm that
you can understand why they feel scared, and then encourage them to practice
being bravely on their own by undertaking an absorbing activity alone.
2. Prepare for separation. If you're anticipating a
situation that may cause anxiety, such as beginning remote learning, going back
to preschool, or spending a night away, practice the routine ahead of time so
your child knows what to expect.
3. Transitional objects. Offer a coping strategy such as
selecting a comforting item that reminds your child of home. This transitional
object can be kept in a convenient place in the house or in the child's cubby at
school, for easy retrieval when anxiety hits.
4. Treat your own anxiety. It's easy for parents to feel
anxious too in these stressful times, and our anxiety can be communicated to
children. Take time for self-care to alleviate stress and consider joining a
support group online. It helps to share strategies with other parents and to
know you're not alone.
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