Blogs     Just for Women     Women's Health    

Owning Up

I am reflecting on the past 32 and a half years of my life and I have to acknowledge something truly uncomfortable about it all.

stay at home mom, life coach, weight loss

I am reflecting on the past 32 and a half years of my life and I have to acknowledge something truly uncomfortable about it all. 

I take full responsibility for every outcome and result I have experienced. 

My weight gain. Getting dumped. Growing apart from close friends. Being broke. Living paycheck to paycheck. I can clearly see now that it was directly because of the way I was thinking and believing about my life and existence as a whole. 

This is painful to admit. But it is even more painful to acknowledge. Because I am not worried about what other people think about this discrepancy in my life. I am sitting here feeling betrayed by my own self.  Feeling shame of my own doing.

RELATED: Ways to look good and feel good while doing it

I know that I can only do what I can do when I know I can do it. (Read that again, haha.) But in all seriousness I have started to take so much better care of me and start to take responsibility for the way I want things to be. And I realized that I can’t do that without owning everything that I did not want, too. Because that is all on me also. 

So, this is what coaching does. My own self-coaching practice has led me here. Where I have raised my own self-awareness high enough to be able to reflect on my past patterns. See them. Feel them. Own them. And now I get to change them. 

Because my next level is here. I already know it. And see it. This acknowledgement shoots me through a quantum leap which means I am growing through this process. And sharing it with you in this way is also how I continue to evolve. I have decided to be always growing, always evolving.

RELATED: 10 tips to add romance to your marriage

I no longer live in a way where I get to avoid, not see, or bury my head in the sand. I face everything and decide what I want to make it mean. Because I know this is what strength looks like, feels like. I’m all in for all of this. Because now that I am actively taking responsibility of myself and for my life — I’m unstoppable. Weight loss? Financial independence? Thriving marriage? Amazing friendships? Come to me. Because I’m ready. And I am never giving up. 

Ilana Charette is the life and weight loss coach for women who have had lap band weight loss surgery and are struggling with regain since pregnancy/kids. She teaches women how to trust themselves and their bodies again with self-care, self-integrity, and self-love. She offers one on one coaching where clients become aware of how their brains are working perfectly and are taught how to step into mastery of the brain to create an extraordinary life of abundance and unconditional love -- and permanent weight loss. Find out more about her and follow along as she loses her weight for the final time here: and on her Instagram. 

Other posts by this this blogger

How to Stay Sane during Quarantine in 4 Simple Steps

Aug 6, 2020

Here are 4 simple steps to keep yourself sane and on track with living your "best" life.

Your Wants and Desires

Mar 9, 2020

If there is a desire in our hearts, then it is already accessible...

What if nothing can be done wrong?

Nov 13, 2019

Perfectionism and procrastination -- I don’t know how. And I don’t know how to do it right.

The Food Relationship

Oct 16, 2019

A client said to me, “Once I have bariatric surgery, I want my relationship with food to be different — and better.” But the real problem is, how do we change the message to our brain.

The Shame Game

Sep 27, 2019

Was there ever a period of time in your life where the feeling of shame was the theme? Shame when you didn't meet a goal you set. Shame when you gained weight rather then losing it.

Do Life Coaches have it all together?

Sep 16, 2019

I think my favorite part since deciding to become a life coach has been the awareness and recognition in my own self of the patterns my brain offers me. Thinking, feeling, doing patterns that have run my life. Patterns that get better and better because as you practice one thing, your brain just gets better and better at it.

An Open Letter to a Bariatric Surgery Patient

Sep 3, 2019

My own personal experience with my lap band weight loss surgery is filled with shame and struggle. I'm here for others who have been through the same struggles that I have with Bariatric surgery.

Coming Clean

Aug 19, 2019

I have spent the last few months slowly coming to the realization that I am actually now living a life I had previously only thought about and hoped for. I am a weight loss coach. And moreover, I am a weight loss coach who is still losing the rest of her weight.

Listen to Your Body

Jul 8, 2019

We are taught to ignore our body. Conditioned to mask headaches with ibuprofen, and to reach for food or alcohol when we really just need to take a nap or go to bed early.

Ready or Not?

Jun 24, 2019

Your kids are growing up, your parents are aging, your birthday candles are accumulating. Your life is happening right before your eyes - whether you're participating or not.

A Ten Minute Pause

Jun 17, 2019

When was the last time you stopped and deliberately took ten minutes to yourself for yourself?

What do you think about what you think?

Jun 3, 2019

Our brain offers us things to think that are "natural," "truthful," and unintentional. Are those thoughts serving you?

The Judgement-Free Zone

May 27, 2019

Nothing about you needs to change in order for you to be worthy or becoming your best friend...

How To Do It All Well Enough

May 13, 2019

Getting things done at a B- level means they are still getting done...