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Boots, Bands and Bangles: Not all Superheroes Wear Capes

Local mom summons her superhuman strength for parenting teens

superhero mom parenting middle school tweens

What I wouldn’t give to pull on thigh-high, strappy boots; to slip on a metallic, wisdom radiating headband; to ricochet the daunting tasks and perilous dialogues of tween epics from shiny, gold cuffs. Oh! And what about hopping into a jet plane that makes me invisible! How sweet would that be (I say to the eye rolling of family members who think my attempt to speak their language is “So NOT cool").

Not ALL superheroes wear capes.

Who am I kidding? Thigh high boots would swallow most of my sixty-two-and-a-half inches; Headbands equal colossal headaches; and the only gold cuff around my wrist is a slim bangle featuring a dangling sea turtle charm. Dangling - much like the way I feel by the week’s end working at Mom & Co. So much for being a superhero with her cape waving valiantly in the wind… Wait a minute – not ALL superheroes wear capes. Some are incognito in leggings and oversized sweaters (to hide those abs of steel). See these scuffed up clogs? Watch me leap over puddles while lifting eleven bags of super food and kicking the hatchback of my S.U.V closed! I can transport myself to ten different places in any given day! Talk about dodging bullets; I’m a pro.

One of my many near death experiences comes to mind…

Middle school, day one. I debated the bus, knowing what he had in store: twenty six rows of raging hormones and no parental control (GULP!) As it was, the bus was a breeze. About three weeks in, I got the call – the one from the assistant principal. “Surely this is a mistake”, I told myself. Words oozed from the phone, formulating a saga I would never expect my innocent tween to be a cast member of: accomplice to middle school crush – aiding and abetting a friend to woo and win his heart’s desire. Aren’t these kids supposed to be doing geometry? Well, this triangle was measured and deconstructed by the time I got the news. Turns out, my son, the middle man, was delivering letters to a certain locker for his friend. The allegation was that he had made extremely mean remarks in the process. A game of “He Said/ She Said” ensued. The locker’s resident requested a middle school “restraining order”; no sitting in the same cafeteria or talking to one another. Fair enough… until I opened up my social media to a private message from an accusatory mother. She squashed the friendship of our boys as well. Crushing. Reprimanding your crying kid and consoling him after delivering the blow that his “best friend” is no longer.

Did I sign up for this drama? Where are those ricocheting cuffs? How about that dangling turtle shell– I could use some cover. Nope - don’t have a cross bow or elastic powers. I can only summon my superhuman strength when needed at Mom & Co.

Honestly, the job should come with a cape…made out of Teflon.

About the author

Rossana Cohen is a lifelong resident of the Hudson Valley. A first generation American born to immigrant parents from small towns outside Naples, Italy, she grew up in the Town of Poughkeepsie and attended high school in the Hyde Park school district. For the past 9 years, Rossana, her husband and teen children have been enjoying life in Monroe, NY.

With an ever growing interest in people and the community, she accepted a position working as a preschool teaching assistant in Sugarloaf this past September. She continues to freelance remotely as well.

"I love balancing a variety of things - it keeps life interesting"! -Rossana Cohen

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