Hot Topics     Home and Family     Healthy Kids     Teen Health     Health Guide    

One dad’s most important parenting lesson



A father of four shares his number one rule

A father of four shares his number one rule


Writing for Fatherly, Swampy Hawkins, an Atlanta father of four, whose kids (from two marriages), range in age from early twenties to infancy, is popular with his children, their friends, and other parents. He has the parenting thing down, apparently. New parents continually ask him, what’s your secret, Swampy

He writes: “My answer is always the same: Be consistent. Consistently loving, consistently patient, consistently fun, consistently firm, consistently respectful, consistently present.  Be consistent with your expectations, your rules, and your praise.”

He has a point, of course. Especially during Covid, when the world seems even more chaotic than usual, providing children with a sense of predictability has never been more important. One year in, mental health professionals now routinely offer advice on how to help your kids through these times, and “be consistent” usually tops their lists.

READ MORE: Create a bedtime routine for your child

Hawkins puts it this way: “Consistency provides a stable framework in your child’s life. It assures them, on the deepest psychological level, that, regardless of the uncertain and unpredictable nature of life, they are safe, they are loved, they matter, and they can depend on you.  Consistently. Nothing throws a kid off their game more than an erratic, inconsistent parent.  It confuses and scares the hell out of them. Kids are little sponges who learn an incredible amount through osmosis, and if what they’re learning from you is all over the place, well, that’s precisely how they’ll behave.”

Hawkins is big on manners, and unfailingly getting his kids to say please and thank you to get what they want. He’s also clued in to something I discovered early on in my own parenting journey: kids may think they’ll be happiest when they’re allowed to act like tyrannical pirates, but they’re not. Even though they’ll initially pout or worse when you put limits on them, they ultimately appreciate what Hawkins refers to as “guard rails, and structure to help them feel secure.”



Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Save a life from stroke

    Tips from the American Stroke Association

    Strokes can happen to anyone, at any age – even young people. Despite being one of the leading causes of death and long-term disability in the United States, strokes are largely preventable, treatable and beatable – if you can control your risk factors. read more »
  • Take steps now to protect your vision

    Regular eye exams are the best thing you can do

    Your quality of life and overall well-being depend on developing healthy habits. These practices are essential to your eye health. read more »
  • How women experience heart disease differently

    Symptoms are not always obvious

    Most people think of heart attacks as debilitating pain in the chest. However, that’s not always the case, especially for women, and missing the signs can be a matter of life and death. read more »
  • Serve a simple pasta salad this summer

    A quick and easy dish your family will love

    Some summertime dishes are just too good to be true. This Easy Pasta Salad is simple enough to become a favorite side and filling enough to serve as a light main course. read more »
  • Combatting Cracked Concrete

    Causes of failing concrete and how to solve them

    Concrete is a strong, durable and easy-to-maintain material that is popular for driveways, walkways, patios and more. Like most materials, though, it can inevitably wear down over time. read more »
  • A Step-By-Step Guide to Changing Your Own Oil

    It's easier than you think

    Changing your vehicle’s oil is a crucial maintenance task that can extend its life and improve performance. It’s also a task many DIYers can handle on their own with just a few tools. read more »
  • Create a Cozy Outdoor Space with a Backyard Firepit

    Time to make a warm and inviting outdoor retreat

    A firepit can serve as a warm and inviting backyard retreat, perfect for roasting marshmallows for s’mores or stargazing while wrapped in cozy blankets. read more »
  • Phones Down, Eyes Up™

    Campaign to reduce distractions and increase water safety

    May’s National Water Safety Month, the campaign aims to reduce distractions and improve water safety awareness, specifically targeting families as they head to pools and waterfronts this summer. read more »
  • Enjoy a light summer lunch

    Make broccoli the star of this dish

    Try this broccoli salad. It makes an ideal light lunch or simple summer side. read more »
  • 2025 Free Fishing Days in New York State

    No freshwater fishing license required to fish on designated days

    Governor Kathy Hochul has announced designated Free Fishing Days in New York will take place on: June 28-29, September 27 (National Hunting and Fishing Day), and November 11 (Veterans Day). During these days, the fishing license requirement is waived for freshwater fishing on New York’s waters. read more »