How to Make New Mommy Friends

10 step guide to mommy- dating

Making Mom friends at paint night out

Making new mom friends can be a lot like dating. The anxiety, approaching other moms and play dates. Then after all the chatting and setting up the date you have to follow through and keep that relationship going. And just like dating, it’s not easy stuff! You have to know where to meet the right moms, how to approach each other and get together for a play date. It’s not uncommon for especially new moms to feel isolated and alone. These are the years it is even more important for us to be connected to each other.

Both online and in person, these moms have become my lifeline. My sanity on tough days and my sounding board for days I question my parenting. Don't worry about your stained clothes, you probably haven't showered in a day or two and forming a sentence might be tough on a few hours of broken sleep, but trust me most of the moms you will meet are feeling the EXACT SAME THING!  So get out there and lt me know how it goes!

1. Put yourself out there. Literally, put the baby in a stroller and walk around the park, your block or the mall. The places you frequent are usually good spots to start looking for your mom friends. If you meet another mommy at the gym you already have something in common and can bond over a good workout while the kids play. Grocery stores, libraries even the pediatricians office are all great spots to start practicing your mom dating skills ;)

2. Mommy and Me Groups, classes and story times. When my second was born, I was new to the area and had a 2 year old at home. For my own sanity I needed to get out of the house, but leaving for the playgroup or drop in programs wasn’t motivating enough for me. That year we joined mommy and me gym classes and playgroups. I needed the weekly commitment to get us all out of the house and it helps to be around the same group of people you can bond with.

health benefits of mommy time

3. National Organizations. There are a number of national organizations whose goal is to foster the mommy connections. Check out our local chapters of La Leche LeagueMOPS, or other New mom groups. New Baby New Paltz has a mother’s social group that meets weekly and Waddle and Swaddle offers a breastfeeding support group as well as weekly play dates. And lastly, check out the local hospitals. Northern Dutchess and Vassar Hospital both offer new mom groups too.

4. Go Online. If getting out of the house seems impossible most days look online for local mom groups. On Facebook, Hudson Valley Moms Group, Dutchess County moms group, Orange County NY moms group and Sullivan County mommies are a few great ones. Also check out and yahoo groups. Chatting online is a great way to make initial connections, schedule play dates and/ or continue friendships.

5. Playgroups. Hudson Valley Parent’s calendar is filled with a number of local playgroups! Check your library, favorite indoor play spot, churches and community centers for some great groups near you. If you find that one isn’t the right fit (sometimes they can feel a little cliquey) don’t get discouraged, just move on to the next one!

6. Working mom? Be creative. It might be tougher for moms with limited time but not impossible. Be creative! If you work in a big company start a working mothers lunch group. I see a lot of working mom groups online, it might be tougher but remember you aren’t alone! Starting with some “online dating” in a moms group and scheduling play dates with other working moms already gives you a connection… and a lot to talk about!

7. Volunteer. It’s as simple as offering to help with a community event, with your child’s school or at a local charity. Many times other stay at home moms are running the events, you would be doing some good, helping others and making mommy friends along the way. Choose to do something you are passionate about and you will find others who are just as passionate as you.

8. Make the first move. Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. You have to be willing to approach other moms too. Start with some small talk, how old is her child, etc. If you’re like me and small talk doesn’t come naturally for you, ask a lot of questions. Where was their baby born? How was the birth? How are they sleeping? You are sure to find something in common with each other. If you are able to make that connection, don’t forget to follow through. Ask to exchange phone numbers and set up a play date.

9. Set up a play date. You can meet somewhere easy for both of you but my best tip is to make sure it’s at a time and day that works best for you and your child. My boys tend to be better behaved in the morning so we like to schedule play dates before lunch and nap times. Have a new baby that sleeps most of the day? Don’t let endless naps get in your way of making friends! Use nap time to your advantage. Meet your new friend at a coffee shop, take a walk around the block or mall or meet for lunch while the babies nap. Play dates aren’t just for the kids you know ;)

10. Be consistent. If your true goal is to build a new friendship being consistent is key. The internet is a wonderful way to stay in touch with someone. Schedule your next play date and keep things moving. Who knows, your mom- date could turn into your next BFF.

What are your best tips for making mommy friends?
Share your thoughts in the comments!

Other articles by Pam Perry

  • 10 Hudson Valley Campgrounds

    Spend some time with your family in the great outdoors this summer

    Camping is a great way to unplug and spend quality time together before the hectic routines of school begin again. If adventuring out into the wilderness isn't quite your thing you can still bring the campsite lifestyle home. read more »
  • How to Make Naturally Dyed Easter Eggs

    CSA inspired Easter fun for kids

    Learn how to dye your Easter eggs using farm vegetables and spices. Visit your local farm market for the freshest produce and even eggs! read more »
  • 30 things to do this June

    Find family-fun every day this month

    From festivals to movies under the stars the family-fun really kicks up a notch this month. Rounding up something fun to do every day of the week all month long read more »
  • Places to take dad on Father's Day

    Find a family-fun spot for every kind of dad

    Sometimes it can be difficult finding something everyone likes to do though there is no shortage of activities in the Hudson Valley. read more »
  • 6 Live performances for families this spring

    Experience the theater at any of these family-friendly productions

    Don't let the enormity of the big stage scare you from bringing children to experience the theater. From school productions to the big stage theaters we have a number of opportunities in the Hudson Valley to foster your child's love of shows. read more »
  • Happy National Sibling Day

    Places in the Hudson Valley siblings can play together

    In honor of National Siblings Day here are a few of our favorite places siblings of any age can enjoy. read more »
  • Celebrate Earth Day

    Family-friendly Earth Day celebrations in the Hudson Valley

    Learn how you can help take care of the earth, animals and nature with various celebrations and workshops throughout the Hudson Valley in celebration of Earth Day read more »
  • The Best National Park Day Trips

    Take a quick ride through the Hudson Valley to see some of the best National Parks

    Taking a ride through the Hudson Valley offers a number of National Parks worth visiting with your family read more »
  • 8 Ideas this Mother's Day

    Unique ways to spend Mother's Day as a family

    8 things to do with mom this Mother's Day throughout the Hudson Valley for the whole family. read more »
  • Free things to do with kids in May

    Top activities for families in the Hudson Valley this month

    Come May, most of our favorite spots for play are open, festivals and fairs are in full swing and the weather is staying (mostly) consistent. On a tight budget and still want to have some fun this month? Relax, we have done the work for you now get out of the house and enjoy. read more »