As a
mother of a child with developmental delays, I am often asked the question:
“When should I worry that my baby isn’t _______ yet?”
Truthfully, I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as worried about a certain timeline. Of course, there are always
instances in which there is a diagnosis or a greater issue, so be sure to voice
any concerns to your pediatrician. But, even as a special needs mom (or maybe because
I’m a special needs mom), I try to focus on mini milestones or the
progress that is being made. Maybe
your child isn’t yet walking, but they’re starting to pull up on objects or
they’ve started sitting up assisted and that’s amazing! It’s possible that a
child struggling to reach a milestone may just need some help getting there,
and that changes nothing about who they are as people. Because of this, my
answer usually shifts away from the worry of a milestone not yet reached, and
towards a solution.
“I
would just pay attention to…”
“Have you tried offering
support (in this way)?”
“I have a great contact that I
can put you in touch with to answer your questions about this!”
In my
not-at-all professional experience, it’s less about teaching the skill itself, but more about supporting a child
figuring out how to progress. For example, you can’t teach a child how to sit
up on their own by saying “Just sit with your legs in front and your torso
straight up…” but you can focus on
exercises to build core strength. This is where, for our family, physical
therapy has been so beneficial.
Flynn has been receiving physical therapy for almost a year and a half and for
most of that time, he has gone to the Center for Physical Therapy in
Wappingers. In the beginning couple of months, he was receiving sessions at
home but, because he’s always loved adventure – even before he was mobile,
going to a center worked better for us. Throughout his time there, they’ve
focused on building his strength and he’s learned to sit independently, crawl,
walk, and run.
When we
first started PT, I had a lot of questions about what they would even do with a
baby that could barely hold his own head up.
If he can’t move around, what exactly are we going to do there? Won’t
this be a waste of time?
It absolutely has not been a waste of time, not for a moment. Physical therapy
is not all vast movement, it’s about building strength so, when he wasn’t
mobile, he worked a lot on the exercise ball. We even got one at home to
continue our practices on our days away from the center. Even balancing (with
help) on the ball can help someone with low muscle tone develop, core strength!
And as time has gone on, the exercises have changed, but the focus has remained
the same: build up those muscles.
I am often
asked: “When should I worry that my baby isn’t _______ yet?” and if you are a
parent that has this question, I send you a virtual hug and urge you not to put
all of your energy into worrying about one milestone. The timing of your child’s
abilities does not define them as a person, nor does their need for extra help.
Make sure to make notes of all concerns as they arise and discuss them with the
pediatrician, who will be able to offer resources for additional support, if
needed. There’s also a whole community out here for you whenever you need us!
_______________________________________________________________
Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. Feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy. Do you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions? Contact me via email: kristina.mulligan.blogs@gmail.com!
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