Breathe. It’s been a tough couple of months. It’s never been harder as a parent or caregiver
these days. Especially when self-care slips
to the bottom of your “to do” list Experts say that taking care of yourself
isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. And during this difficult time, when children are home and stress is running high, it's more important than ever. Here are five tips from clinicians that can help.
Let us provide some
items for your next “to do” list:
Make time for yourself
Right now, much of the
personal time that was part of daily routines — commutes, time alone at home or
at the store, social time with friends — is not available for folks with
kids at home. Without it, parents need to be intentional about creating space to
recharge and decompress. This could be something simple as taking a shower or
bath, walking around the block alone (or with your dog), or designating time to
read or simply zone out after the kids have gone to bed.
Prioritize healthy choices
The added stress and
lack of structure being experienced right now can make it easy to slip into
habits that feel good in the moment but can be detrimental in the long term.
“Make sure you’re eating properly, try to get enough sleep (but not too much!),
and create a routine that includes physical activity,” recommends Jill
Emanuele, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. This
doesn’t mean pressuring yourself to get into tip-top shape, or not eating ice
cream or binging your favorite shows. It does mean being thoughtful and
intentional about how you’re treating yourself and your body.
Be realistic
“Perfectionism and the
corona virus don’t mix,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at
the Child Mind Institute. “It’s time to be exceedingly realistic, both at work
and as a parent.” Avoid burnout by setting realistic expectations and giving yourself
grace if you can’t meet them. “Practice forgiveness and self-compassion,” says
Dr. Anderson. Parents should remind themselves that these are unprecedented
times. “There’s no playbook for this. Remember you’re doing your best during a
very difficult time. Cut yourself some slack.”
Set boundaries
Anxiety is rampant
right now. With so much worry and uncertainty floating around it can be easy to
absorb other people’s fears and concerns without even realizing it. If you have
a friend or family member who’s in the habit of sending worst-case-scenario
news or is prone to sending anxiety-provoking text messages, practice a little
emotional distancing. Let them know you sympathize but that you’re taking a
break from worrying news, or simply hit the Do Not Disturb button. You can
always reconnect when things are calmer.
Reconnect with things you enjoy
Think proactively of
things you can do with this enforced time at home. Get back in touch with
hobbies or activities you enjoy but rarely have time for, or make the choice to
learn a new skill. Maybe there’s a knitting project you’ve always wanted to
try, but you’ve been too busy. Or you’ve been meaning to learn how to
needlepoint. Maybe you love jigsaw puzzles but with rushing between work and
home and caring for kids, it’s been years since you had the time to do one. If
young children make solo activities unrealistic, seek out activities you can
enjoy together, like baking bread, or making art.
Finally, remember,
being kind to yourself will not only help you stay calm during this
difficult time, it will help ensure
that you have the bandwidth you need to take good care of your family. When
you’re running on fumes, caring for others can tax your already depleted
resources to breaking point. But when you prioritize your needs, you’re filling
the tank, emotionally and physically, and that means you’ll be in a position to
offer comfort and care to others when they need it most.
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