Hot Topics     Home and Family    

Helping your child maintain a positive body image



Activist and book author Virgie Tovar offers advice to parents

kids, teens, positive body image, parents, weight

With the pandemics decrease in socializing, your teen may be spending extra time viewing the selfies of stick-thin friends on Instagram and Tik-tok, followed by unfavorable comparisons with her own body shape. Or perhaps eating has become a way of dealing with anxiety about the uncertain future. COVID-19 seems to be escalating teens angst over body image issues, says body-positive activist Virgie Tovar. In an interview with Kristen Chase on coolmompicks.com, Tovar, author of the recently published The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color, discusses how society contributes to girls self-image issues and how parents can offer corrective views.

Tovar attacks the medical systems “scapegoating of higher-weight people. Its considered a co-morbidity factor. If youre a higher-weight patient, as two-thirds of women are, youre seen as a non-compliant patient. Unless youre trying to lose weight, the attitude is, you dont deserve the same level of care as people who are.” According to Tovar, the American Medical Association declared obesity a disease, against the suggestion of the committee that was assigned the issue, although the committee determined that being overweight does not meet the criteria of a disease.

“Everyone is valuable,” says Tovar. “All food is good food. Everyone deserves equality, regardless of body size.”

As a parent, you have the chance to convey to your daughter that her weight does not determine her worth. Nevertheless, kids bear messages delivered by the media and by schoolmates, and you will have to point out the fallacies of those messages. Even if you have to say the same words over and over, observed Tovar, its okay. Thats what girls need to hear, until the words are embedded in their thought, available at a moments notice as they develop the skills to handle situations where their self-esteem is being challenged.

READ MORE: Parents' Say Has Less Weight with Heavy Teens

Parents also have to address their own issues, which is not easy. “Moms face enormous expectations and pressures,” says Tovar. “Were likelier to be the ones prepping meals and dressing our kids, which are triggering moments for us.” While dieting and working out at the gym help us cope, we have to remember that we have our own unrecognized wounds, our own tendencies to believe were not worthy, which gives us the urge to restrict and diet in order to recover a sense of control.

There is no evidence that dieting leads to better health practices or better mental health, says Tovar. “The diet culture actually creates these problems. Eating is good. Your children dont have to be afraid of wanting to eat, and neither do you. Let a sense of joy anchor your activities. Attempting to control a childs eating is highly unlikely to lead to anything but body dysmorphia.”

Sure, its healthy to eat vegetables and to exercise, but dont make a connection between veggies and losing weight or exercise and losing weight. Letting children eat until theyre full affirms natural hunger/fullness signals. In dieting, people lose access to that awareness, creating problems that contribute to eating disorders.

Its fine to advocate for kids at school and at the doctors office, Tovar says. One mother placed notices in her childs medical records, requesting that medical professionals not express concern about the childs body mass index but rather ask how her family promotes mental and physical health. 

You can ask your child questions:

1. When she criticizes her own body, ask, “Why do you think that way? Where did you get that idea? How else could we look at that thought?”

2. When looking at images of size 0 women in the media, ask, “Who does this picture benefit? You and the people you love?”

3. When she compares herself to thinner girls, ask “What makes your body special?” For instance, her body is more muscular from carrying more weight. Point out that the world needs all kinds of people. Different kinds of people bring different perspectives, provide different solutions, make us aware of different kinds of beauty. We create the world together, with all our different skills and strengths.




Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Get Hooked on Fishing, Not Drugs

    Third Annual Orange County District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby

    The Third District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby will run from April 1 through Sept. 4, 2023. The event is open to young people between the ages of 4 and 18 who are children or grandchildren of Orange County residents. read more »
  • Kids aren't eating fruits and veggies

    Happiest Baby's Dr. Harvey Karp has tips to change that

    A new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that approximately 32% of 1- to 5-year-olds did not eat a single piece of fruit a day and nearly one half (~49%) didn't eat any vegetables a day. Roughly 51% drank a sugar-sweetened beverage, like fruit drinks or soda, at least once a week. read more »
  • 5 sleep habits essential for heart health

    Make sure you get your zzz's with these tips

    In the days following a time change due to daylight saving time, research shows a marked increase in heart attacks and strokes. However, losing sleep anytime can be a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease. read more »
  • Take these 6 steps to manage your blood pressure

    Hypertension can be dangerous

    High blood pressure, also known as hypertension, affects nearly half of adults in the United States, and only about 1 in 4 with this condition have it under control, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). read more »
  • Make your St. Patrick's Day spread green with envy

    These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or an appetizer

    Freshen up your St. Patrick’s Day menu with easy, light sandwiches inspired by the traditional color of the festivities. These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or even as an appetizer for get-togethers with friends and family. read more »
  • Lucky mint brownie perfection

    A twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate

    How lucky you must be to come across this recipe just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This one is a twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate that’s sure to have almost anyone’s taste buds screaming “yum.” This dessert might just be the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow this year. read more »
  • 3 ways parents can encourage social emotional learning in children

    Parents focus on social emotional skills, mental health, kindness and understanding differences

    Most parents would agree the quality of their children’s education plays a key role in their overall development. While parents are optimistic about the future of education, they also recognize children have educational needs beyond what is considered the standard. read more »
  • Selecting a health care provider

    Resources to guide your selection

    Getting health care for yourself or a loved one is a big responsibility, especially if you’re just getting started with Medicare or have changes in your life, such as a new diagnosis of a condition or disease. It can be overwhelming if you need services like nursing home care, have to find a new doctor or get home health care. read more »
  • 5 simple solutions for proper nasal hygiene

    Keep your nasal passages clean, clear and moisturized

    Your nose is essential for conditioning the air you breathe and serves as the first line of defense against dust, pollution, bacteria, viruses and more. The presence of these substances in your nasal passages can trigger infections, disease and illness. read more »
  • Have a bump on your foot?

    Don’t ignore it

    Have a lump or bump on your foot? Whether it’s painful or not, it could potentially signal a serious condition. Foot and ankle surgeons warn it’s important to have it checked out, no matter its size or location on your foot. read more »