Hot Topics     Home and Family    

Helping your child maintain a positive body image



Activist and book author Virgie Tovar offers advice to parents

kids, teens, positive body image, parents, weight

With the pandemics decrease in socializing, your teen may be spending extra time viewing the selfies of stick-thin friends on Instagram and Tik-tok, followed by unfavorable comparisons with her own body shape. Or perhaps eating has become a way of dealing with anxiety about the uncertain future. COVID-19 seems to be escalating teens angst over body image issues, says body-positive activist Virgie Tovar. In an interview with Kristen Chase on coolmompicks.com, Tovar, author of the recently published The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color, discusses how society contributes to girls self-image issues and how parents can offer corrective views.

Tovar attacks the medical systems “scapegoating of higher-weight people. Its considered a co-morbidity factor. If youre a higher-weight patient, as two-thirds of women are, youre seen as a non-compliant patient. Unless youre trying to lose weight, the attitude is, you dont deserve the same level of care as people who are.” According to Tovar, the American Medical Association declared obesity a disease, against the suggestion of the committee that was assigned the issue, although the committee determined that being overweight does not meet the criteria of a disease.

“Everyone is valuable,” says Tovar. “All food is good food. Everyone deserves equality, regardless of body size.”

As a parent, you have the chance to convey to your daughter that her weight does not determine her worth. Nevertheless, kids bear messages delivered by the media and by schoolmates, and you will have to point out the fallacies of those messages. Even if you have to say the same words over and over, observed Tovar, its okay. Thats what girls need to hear, until the words are embedded in their thought, available at a moments notice as they develop the skills to handle situations where their self-esteem is being challenged.

READ MORE: Parents' Say Has Less Weight with Heavy Teens

Parents also have to address their own issues, which is not easy. “Moms face enormous expectations and pressures,” says Tovar. “Were likelier to be the ones prepping meals and dressing our kids, which are triggering moments for us.” While dieting and working out at the gym help us cope, we have to remember that we have our own unrecognized wounds, our own tendencies to believe were not worthy, which gives us the urge to restrict and diet in order to recover a sense of control.

There is no evidence that dieting leads to better health practices or better mental health, says Tovar. “The diet culture actually creates these problems. Eating is good. Your children dont have to be afraid of wanting to eat, and neither do you. Let a sense of joy anchor your activities. Attempting to control a childs eating is highly unlikely to lead to anything but body dysmorphia.”

Sure, its healthy to eat vegetables and to exercise, but dont make a connection between veggies and losing weight or exercise and losing weight. Letting children eat until theyre full affirms natural hunger/fullness signals. In dieting, people lose access to that awareness, creating problems that contribute to eating disorders.

Its fine to advocate for kids at school and at the doctors office, Tovar says. One mother placed notices in her childs medical records, requesting that medical professionals not express concern about the childs body mass index but rather ask how her family promotes mental and physical health. 

You can ask your child questions:

1. When she criticizes her own body, ask, “Why do you think that way? Where did you get that idea? How else could we look at that thought?”

2. When looking at images of size 0 women in the media, ask, “Who does this picture benefit? You and the people you love?”

3. When she compares herself to thinner girls, ask “What makes your body special?” For instance, her body is more muscular from carrying more weight. Point out that the world needs all kinds of people. Different kinds of people bring different perspectives, provide different solutions, make us aware of different kinds of beauty. We create the world together, with all our different skills and strengths.




Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Understanding 'Warning Strokes'

    What to expect if you experience stroke symptoms, even if they disappear

    Diagnosing a transient ischemic attack (TIA), sometimes called a “warning stroke,” can be challenging because symptoms often disappear within an hour. However, it’s important to seek emergency assessment to help prevent a full-blown stroke. read more »
  • Managing your family's year-round health

    Protect everyone from infectious diseases

    According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), vaccines help create protective antibodies that fight off infections. read more »
  • What to know about Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension

    treatment can help control symptoms and improve quality of life

    Each year, an estimated 500-1,000 people nationwide are diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH). While there’s currently no cure, treatment can help control symptoms and improve quality of life. read more »
  • Bring back family bonding this fall

    3 ways to free up busy schedules to spend time with loved ones

    Busy fall schedules often leave little time for the things that matter most – sharing special moments with those you love. This year, as time seems to speed up during another school year, making family bonding a priority in your household can start with a few simple tricks. read more »
  • Top tips for a more organized kitchen

    Save time and money

    Better organization in the kitchen means spending less time searching for the right ingredient or tool so you can have more time for savoring meals with family and friends, and more time for personal pursuits. read more »
  • 6 small, kind gestures to make a big impact each day

    Performing acts of kindness improves individual well-being

    Everywhere you look, you can see moments of kindness. From a friend sending a thoughtful text message to a stranger holding the bus for someone running late or a person paying for someone else’s coffee, acts of kindness happen every day. read more »
  • Keeping babies safe

    Tips to help prevent some of the biggest dangers

    Tips to help prevent some of the biggest dangers for babies include safe sleeping habits, product recalls, baby proofing & car safety read more »
  • Tips to get tour student prepped for college entrance exams

    Help get your teen ready

    Is the SAT or ACT on the horizon for your high schooler? A lot of emphasis is placed on college entrance exams, and your child may be anxious about their scores. read more »
  • More than two-thirds of Americans plan to get a flu shot this season

    CVS Pharmacy® and MinuteClinic® encourage consumers to get an annual flu shot and stay up to date on routine vaccinations

    CVS Health® (NYSE: CVS) is prepared to meet patients' vaccination and other preventive health care needs as flu season approaches. CVS Pharmacy® and MinuteClinic® are offering the annual flu vaccine at locations nationwide. CVS Pharmacy is also offering the new respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) vaccine, which has been approved for adults ages 60 and up. read more »
  • 10 phrases to say to children every day

    Instill valuable life skills and boost their self-esteem

    As parents, you play a pivotal role in shaping your child’s character, confidence, and overall development. Every interaction is an opportunity to instill valuable life skills and boost their self-esteem. read more »