Letting kids fail. Is that okay?



A child’s challenges should be met and not merely dismissed or avoided

kids, obstacles, learning, challenges

There’s a new form of parenting taking hold during these angst-ridden times. We are protecting our children from all challenges. Our homes are baby proofed; we pad our playgrounds, and even our eight-year-olds are in car seats.  We place monitors in kids’ rooms and on their phones. For some, this is to ensure safety, but for others, it may be a shortcut to shielding our children from potential disappointment.

Tonya Cotto has written in moms.com about how our safety concerns have morphed into the total avoidance of anything a child or parent dislikes or does not approve of, as well as any road locks between success or undesirable responses.

This results in a plethora of negatives, Cotto has found.

“The emotional response of obstacle-free parenting is controlling and costly. Rejection, unfairness, and failures are a normal part of life. It teaches our children not to be a victim and how to create healthy emotional responses,” she concludes after speaking with a number of child psychologists. “Obstacle free parenting can lead to children living in a protective bubble. The children live as the center of the universes, self-absorbed, dictating everything they want. This is more power than a child should have. A lifestyle of unhealthy dependence can result.

"There's constant monitoring of where their kid is and what they are doing, all with the intent of preventing something happening and becoming a barrier to the child's success,” sociologist Laura Hamilton, the author of "Parenting to a Degree: How Family Matters for College and Beyond,” says.

“Mistakes are not a bad thing,” the author concludes. “Experiencing the natural consequences of life are the best way to teach our children. A child who lives obstacle-free may lose sight of what is valuable—the ability to prioritize accurately what has value and what does not can be missed. In the end, a child may learn to short-cut everything to avoid feeling any discomfort, developing many unhealthy habits.”

The real question is ‘what obstacles should you allow your child to experience?’




Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Calling all birdwatchers

    Check out Birdability which promotes birding for everyone

    Through education, outreach and advocacy, Birdability works to ensure the birding community and the outdoors are welcoming, inclusive, safe and accessible for everybody. We focus on people with mobility challenges, blindness or low vision, chronic illness, intellectual or developmental disabilities, mental illness, and those who are neurodivergent, deaf or hard of hearing or who have other health concerns. In addition to current birders, we strive to introduce birding to people with disabilities and other health concerns who are not yet birders so they too can experience the joys of birding. read more »
  • 9/11 Remembrance Ceremonies

    Come and remember the people who were lost, first responders & survivors

    Events to honor the victims, first responders, and survivors of the 9/11 attacks. read more »
  • Mother Shares Her Journey with Heroin-Addicted Daughter

    Read the gripping new book about this family

    September is National Recovery Month and one mom has shared her journey with her daughter struggling with addiction. read more »
  • Learn How to Help Your Struggling Adolescents Navigate Change and Overcome Anxiety

    Parenting expert Erica Komisar has a new book that can assist you

    Adolescence is a notoriously complicated time for kids as well as their parents. Plus, the epidemic of mental health disorders in young people has made parenting today even more challenging. But it’s not too late. Parents of adolescents can still have a profound impact on the health and well-being of their children. read more »
  • 5 of the best movies your teen can watch at home

    Entertain your kids with these flicks from Netfilx

    Writing for Popsugar, Sabienna Bowman shares her top movie picks for teens read more »
  • Master P On Rap Feuds, Conscious Parenting, Black Superheroes

    Allison Kugel interviews this rap icon

    Interview with rap icon Master P by Allison Kugel. Here he talks about family and more. read more »
  • Cool new food savers from Lasting Freshness

    Vacuum seal your food to keep it fresh longer

    Using this patented handheld Vacuum System your food is preserved up to 5 times longer than food stored using conventional grocery storage methods. read more »
  • The Mama Bear Effect Launches New Resource to Combat Child Sexual Abuse

    Parents of young children and those with special education needs now have a free tool to educate children about their bodies and boundaries

    Parents, caregivers, teachers, and therapists now have a new tool to educate the most vulnerable population of children, those who need specialized assistance with learning and communication. read more »
  • Dirty, sweaty laundry making your house stinky?

    Here is a great solution from STNKY

    STNKY Bags are the best way to sort, store, carry, wash and dry everything from sweaty gym clothes, laundry when you travel, scrubs, and just about anything else that gets dirty or sweaty. read more »
  • Get Green this September

    Be a Friend of the Environment

    NYS Department of Environmental Conservation offers tips on cleaning out your closet and recycling your discarded clothing. read more »