There’s
a new form of parenting taking hold during these angst-ridden times. We
are protecting our children from all challenges. Our homes
are baby proofed; we pad our playgrounds, and even our eight-year-olds are in
car seats. We place monitors in kids’ rooms and on their phones. For
some, this is to ensure safety, but for others, it may be a shortcut to shielding
our children from potential disappointment.
Tonya
Cotto has written in moms.com about how our safety concerns have
morphed into the total avoidance of anything a child or parent dislikes or does
not approve of, as well as any road locks between success or undesirable
responses.
This
results in a plethora of negatives, Cotto has found.
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“The
emotional response of obstacle-free parenting is controlling and
costly. Rejection, unfairness, and failures are a normal part of life. It
teaches our children not to be a victim and how to create healthy emotional
responses,” she concludes after speaking with a number of child psychologists.
“Obstacle free parenting can lead to children living in a protective bubble.
The children live as the center of the universes, self-absorbed, dictating
everything they want. This is more power than a child should have. A lifestyle
of unhealthy dependence can result.
"There's
constant monitoring of where their kid is and what they are doing, all with the
intent of preventing something happening and becoming a barrier to the child's
success,” sociologist Laura Hamilton, the author of Parenting to a Degree: How Family Matters for College and Beyond, says.
“Mistakes
are not a bad thing,” the author concludes. “Experiencing the natural
consequences of life are the best way to teach our children. A child who lives
obstacle-free may lose sight of what is valuable—the ability to prioritize
accurately what has value and what does not can be missed. In the end, a child
may learn to short-cut everything to avoid feeling any discomfort, developing
many unhealthy habits.”
The
real question is ‘what obstacles should you allow your child to experience?’
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