Letting kids fail. Is that okay?



A child’s challenges should be met and not merely dismissed or avoided

kids, obstacles, learning, challenges

There’s a new form of parenting taking hold during these angst-ridden times. We are protecting our children
 from all challenges. Our homes are baby proofed; we pad our playgrounds, and even our eight-year-olds are in car seats.  We place monitors in kids’ rooms and on their phones. For some, this is to ensure safety, but for others, it may be a shortcut to shielding our children from potential disappointment.

Parenting author, Tonya Cotto has written about how our safety concerns have morphed into the total avoidance of anything a child or parent dislikes or does not approve of, as well as any road locks between success or undesirable responses.

This results in a plethora of negatives, Cotto has found.

READ MORE: Help for the underachiever

“The emotional response of obstacle-free parenting is controlling and costly. Rejection, unfairness, and failures are a normal part of life. It teaches our children not to be a victim and how to create healthy emotional responses,” she concludes after speaking with a number of child psychologists. “Obstacle free parenting can lead to children living in a protective bubble. The children live as the center of the universes, self-absorbed, dictating everything they want. This is more power than a child should have. A lifestyle of unhealthy dependence can result.

"There's constant monitoring of where their kid is and what they are doing, all with the intent of preventing something happening and becoming a barrier to the child's success,” sociologist Laura Hamilton, the author of three award-winning books, says.

“Mistakes are not a bad thing,” the author concludes. “Experiencing the natural consequences of life are the best way to teach our children. A child who lives obstacle-free may lose sight of what is valuable—the ability to prioritize accurately what has value and what does not can be missed. In the end, a child may learn to short-cut everything to avoid feeling any discomfort, developing many unhealthy habits.”

The real question is ‘what obstacles should you allow your child to experience?’




Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • 2025 Free Fishing Days in New York State

    No freshwater fishing license required to fish on designated days

    Governor Kathy Hochul has announced designated Free Fishing Days in New York will take place on: June 28-29, September 27 (National Hunting and Fishing Day), and November 11 (Veterans Day). During these days, the fishing license requirement is waived for freshwater fishing on New York’s waters. read more »
  • Use caution when purchasing vitamins and dietary supplements

    Tips from New York State Division of Consumer Protection

    The New York Department of State’s Division of Consumer Protection is warning consumers to take precautions when selecting vitamins and dietary supplements. read more »
  • Easy, Creamy Spring Goodness

    Take advantage of this early crop

    For a soup that smells as divine as it tastes, warm up your home with the fresh scents and flavors of Creamy Asparagus Soup. Pair with chicken salad croissants for a simple weeknight meal without the hassle. read more »
  • "Goodnight Moon" Stamps to be Unveiled at The Rabbit hOle

    Get yours starting May 2

    The U.S. Postal Service will unveil its Goodnight Moon stamps at The Rabbit hOle in North Kansas City, MO, on May 2 as part of an event leading up to Children’s Book Week (May 5-11). read more »
  • Preventing Child Abuse

    Five must-ask questions before enrolling your child in any activity

    As families consider before and after school programs, youth sports, and summer camps, asking the right questions can make all the difference in ensuring a secure, safe and supportive environment for your children. read more »
  • Get Hooked on Fishing, Not Drugs

    Join the Annual Orange County District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby

    Orange County District Attorney David M. Hoovler on Tuesday,February 18, 2025, announced the launch of the fifth Orange County District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby. The Derby will run from April 1, 2025, through September 7, 2025,and is open to children between the ages of four and eighteen who are children or grandchildren of Orange County residents. read more »
  • Expand Your Menu with a Versatile Enchilada Recipe

    Get dinner on the table in under 30 minutes

    An easy recipe that can serve your family or a crowd is a perfect solution for any cookbook. Look no further than this Easy Enchilada Casserole, an ideal fit for family dinners or hosting a group when served as a dip. read more »
  • Street Tacos from the Slow Cooker

    If your idea of street tacos includes standing over a hot skillet, wipe that sweat off your brow and give these Savory Street Tacos a try. They put the slow cooker and oven to work for you, providing that delicious street taco taste without the hassle. read more »
  • A Delectable Dessert for Valentine's Day

    Cheesecake and cookies! Yum!

    If you’re going above and beyond a stuffed animal and boxed chocolates this Valentine’s Day, try these Cheesecake Cookie Cups for a special homemade dessert. read more »
  • Don't Forget These 6 Things on the Day of Your College Entrance Exams

    Best ways to be prepared

    You don’t want to leave anything to chance on the day of your test. Pack these items the night before so you can grab extra sleep in the morning read more »