Blogs     Just for Women     Women's Health    

The Judgement-Free Zone

What if you could stop judging yourself?

mom blogger, womens health

I used to be so critical of myself. Nothing was ever good enough. No gift was ever thoughtful enough. I was never prepared enough. The list went on and on.


I know I am not alone in this.


I had shamed myself into basically being afraid to even breathe wrong. I would immediately beat myself up about every single thing I was doing, or not doing.


As a direct result, I was afraid. I was afraid to do anything to turn the spotlight onto me – if even for a brief nanosecond. Like sneeze in public. I was truly afraid to be myself.


I want to let you in on life’s deepest secret.


You don’t have to treat yourself that way. You are worthy. You are worthy of love, light, forgiveness -- anything you want -- right this very second.


Not a single thing about you needs to change in order for this to be true.


But, the secret is, once you know this, and I mean believe this, you will change automatically.


If your worth is immeasurable and limitless, and it is, then you don’t have to beat yourself up.


You can just be.


You can exist exactly as you’d like.

RELATED: Create a plan for self-care this summer

Ok, so how?


Awareness. Recognize your brain is used to thinking a certain way about you. It has formed a habit. Awareness will grow around your thoughts. See it for what it is.


Ask yourself the questions. Is there truth in your reaction? If your best friend or daughter or niece did the exact same thing, how would you respond? THAT is your truth.


You now speak to yourself the way you would to your best friend/daughter/niece.


See what doors open as a result.


It will take time to rewrite your habit. To change the way you think about you.


Nothing about you needs to change for you to decide to make this change.


You get to be your best friend. You get to offer yourself compassion. You get to make peace within yourself.


This is the way you grow. If you want to.

Ilana Charette is in her early 30s and a wife and mother of 2 littles. She is a stay at home mom and simultaneously building a business from home. She is a life and weight loss coach. She is passionate about teaching women how to trust themselves and their bodies again. Find out more about her and follow along as she loses her weight for the final time here: and on her Instagram. 

Other posts by this this blogger

How to Stay Sane during Quarantine in 4 Simple Steps

Aug 6, 2020

Here are 4 simple steps to keep yourself sane and on track with living your "best" life.

Your Wants and Desires

Mar 9, 2020

If there is a desire in our hearts, then it is already accessible...

What if nothing can be done wrong?

Nov 13, 2019

Perfectionism and procrastination -- I don’t know how. And I don’t know how to do it right.

The Food Relationship

Oct 16, 2019

A client said to me, “Once I have bariatric surgery, I want my relationship with food to be different — and better.” But the real problem is, how do we change the message to our brain.

The Shame Game

Sep 27, 2019

Was there ever a period of time in your life where the feeling of shame was the theme? Shame when you didn't meet a goal you set. Shame when you gained weight rather then losing it.

Do Life Coaches have it all together?

Sep 16, 2019

I think my favorite part since deciding to become a life coach has been the awareness and recognition in my own self of the patterns my brain offers me. Thinking, feeling, doing patterns that have run my life. Patterns that get better and better because as you practice one thing, your brain just gets better and better at it.

An Open Letter to a Bariatric Surgery Patient

Sep 3, 2019

My own personal experience with my lap band weight loss surgery is filled with shame and struggle. I'm here for others who have been through the same struggles that I have with Bariatric surgery.

Owning Up

Aug 26, 2019

I am reflecting on the past 32 and a half years of my life and I have to acknowledge something truly uncomfortable about it all.

Coming Clean

Aug 19, 2019

I have spent the last few months slowly coming to the realization that I am actually now living a life I had previously only thought about and hoped for. I am a weight loss coach. And moreover, I am a weight loss coach who is still losing the rest of her weight.

Listen to Your Body

Jul 8, 2019

We are taught to ignore our body. Conditioned to mask headaches with ibuprofen, and to reach for food or alcohol when we really just need to take a nap or go to bed early.

Ready or Not?

Jun 24, 2019

Your kids are growing up, your parents are aging, your birthday candles are accumulating. Your life is happening right before your eyes - whether you're participating or not.

A Ten Minute Pause

Jun 17, 2019

When was the last time you stopped and deliberately took ten minutes to yourself for yourself?

What do you think about what you think?

Jun 3, 2019

Our brain offers us things to think that are "natural," "truthful," and unintentional. Are those thoughts serving you?

How To Do It All Well Enough

May 13, 2019

Getting things done at a B- level means they are still getting done...