Although
we all intuitively understand the necessity of rest, many Americans –
particularly parents – are in an almost constant state of exhaustion, fending
off fatigue, pushing ourselves to the limit. In an expansive Popsugar feature,
Domari Dickinson notes how African-American moms in particular need to buck
cultural pressure to be always “on the go,” and, like her, figure out ways to
ease off the gas pedal, or risk serious health issues. She offers helpful tips
for all parents.
A decade
ago, Domari was operating at full steam from four AM to ten PM, running a
business, being a wife, and mothering four kids aged five to 19, every single
day. It was partly out of necessity, but also out of a fear of judgment. When
her eldest child found it necessary to start filling in as a parent, Domari had
a moment of clarity.
She tells
Schweitzer, "We've been conditioned to believe that if you're not
chauffeuring your kids around to 17 different activities on the weekend, you're
not doing a good job as a parent. Or if you're not spending your whole weekend
cooking and cleaning and meal-prepping, then you're doing it wrong."
READ MORE: The #1 way to quiet your mind and relax your body
According
to Schweitzer, Domari “decided to no longer subscribe to that unrelenting
version of motherhood and set to work finding rest. Joyful rest, or, as she put
it, rest as a form of resistance.”
Domari
realized that resting wasn't only good for her and her family, but also a way
to “push back” on a cultural norm in which people "believe that our worth or
our value is tied to our productivity. The idea that the more I'm able to do,
or the more I can produce, the better I am.”
A few of
her suggestions for parents trying to carve out that time:
Add
Mindfulness to Mindless Activities
Domari washes dishes “as a form of joyful rest and decompression.”
Practice
Eye Gazing
Stand in front of your mirror and look into your eyes. Tell yourself you’re
beautiful and deserving of rest, and a good life.
Sleep-Train
Yourself
If possible, keep to a set bedtime, and try to nap.
Foster
Independent Children
Teaching your kids to make their own breakfast, and self regulate themselves
regarding screen time, will help you get the rest you need.
Find a
Like-Minded, Rest-Focused Community
Surround yourself with people who won’t try to shame you for not showing up at
a Zoom birthday party, for instance.
Rest up!
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