Blogs     Healthy Kids    

Interview With a Preemie Dad



Preemie dads need love, too.

Daddy's first time holding Flynn.
As a preemie mom, I've had the opportunity to be relatively vocal about our family's experiences in the NICU and beyond, but my husband, DJ, hasn't necessarily gotten to do the same. I decided to sit down with him and ask some important questions to give him his own voice, and to hopefully allow preemie dads everywhere to do the same.
_____

What were your first thoughts when you first saw your baby?
It was hard to know what to expect but, when I first saw Flynn, I cried of happiness. Being a parent was something my wife and I were working very hard at. 

What advice would you give to another dad with a baby currently in the NICU?
My advice would be to stay strong for your little boy/girl. Be positive when you're around them, even though it’s difficult. 

What was the most memorable part of your NICU journey?
The most memorable part of Flynn’s journey was when he got to come out of his incubator. That gave me some assurance that he would be coming home!

What, if anything, was the most meaningful thing that someone did for you while your baby was away from home?
I would have to say my in-laws going to see Flynn when we were not at the hospital was meaningful. Just knowing that he had more family support by his side meant a lot to me. 


RELATED: Local parents share their NICU story 

What is the hardest part about being a preemie dad?
It's probably seeing your child frustrated while trying to overcome their particular setbacks or delays. While you know that they will likely catch up in their own time, it's difficult to see them upset.

What has been the biggest challenge since being discharged from the NICU?
The biggest challenge has been kind of letting down my guard. Kids are going to be kids and get dirty and get bumps and bruises; it’s not the end of the world. You can’t help but still picture what your baby looked like and how much they have transformed. 

What has being a preemie parent taught you?
It has taught me that reaching milestones are not a competition. Every child is different and every moment is special, no matter when it comes. 

What milestone has your child reached that made you the most proud?
I would say him sitting up as it was one of his first major milestones. It showed me that with his determination, he will achieve anything he sets his mind to.

Is there anything that still reminds of you of the NICU?
Driving by the hospital is very often a reminder, as we have to take that route quite regularly. The hospital is currently doing a major renovation so it especially sticks out.

What is something that every preemie parent should know?
Every preemie parent should know that the NICU stay does not define your child. While it will always be a part of them, they are so much more than that.

 
________________________________________________________________

Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. You can read my posts here every Tuesday! Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy.

Do you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions? Contact me via email: kristina.mulligan.blogs@gmail.com


Other posts by this this blogger


The Fixer

Aug 6, 2020

By nature, by design, in all ways, I am a helper – even my Enneagram says so. I always have been.

A Letter to My Sweet Boy On One of "Those Days"

Aug 6, 2020

We do hard, painful work, but then we come home to each other and continue to live the truth that we know.

Social Distancing and the Village

Aug 6, 2020

COVID-19 is causing fear in many and panic in others. In some way, however, we all feel the anxiety – and possibly the soreness of dry hands.

Be A Buddy, Not A Bully

Aug 6, 2020

The idea of inclusivity is a beautiful thing - people of all types of abilities playing together, being accepting/accepted and kind. What is the reality?

Why Should You Go Green This March?

Aug 6, 2020

Please join us in the movement!

Preparing for House Arrest...

Oct 1, 2019

Every person in a baby’s life – grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings, cousins, and friends – could and should be responsible for keeping him or her healthy.

This Invisible Life

Sep 23, 2019

I've just gotten so used to carrying all of this weight that it appears to be much lighter to anyone looking in. Or maybe they just don't see me.

ThinkDIFFERENTLY Dash

Sep 10, 2019

The event was a one mile walk/run for people of all abilities, and we were proud to race alongside every participant sporting our capes for our team, Flynn's Superheroes.

NICU Awareness Month

Sep 3, 2019

September is NICU Awareness Month. Though the time and place is difficult for me to revisit, I know that it is so crucial to do.

Why I Blog

Aug 27, 2019

It's Hudson Valley Parent's 25th Anniversary, so I'm sharing why I blog.

Occupational Therapy Q&A

Aug 20, 2019

I sat down with Occupational Therapist Elizabeth Harnett Ms,otr/l to get your top questions about occupational therapy answered.

The One Where We Cut Our Own Sunflowers

Aug 13, 2019

This past weekend we attended the 2nd Annual Sunflower Cutting Event hosted by Hudson Valley Cold Pressed Oils in Pleasant Valley.

Learning About Vehicles

Aug 6, 2019

This past week may have been Shark Week, but for us, it was “Vehicle Week.” We used our bodies, our senses, and our imaginations to explore all there is to know about things that go!

I Am A Supermom.

Jul 30, 2019

I’m a mom, and those three letters carry so much weight, responsibility, and love in so many different ways for every type of mother.

How to Live Like It’s All Cupcakes & Rainbows

Jul 23, 2019

Hey, I know it's not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I'd rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like you. You don't sing, you don't dance. So grey all the time!

Flynn Has Breakfast With Superheroes

Jul 16, 2019

This past Saturday, our family attended a Superhero Breakfast at the Old Dutch Church in Port Ewen. The event benefited the non-profit organization Christmas Wishes Ulster County.

Friend, Stop Apologizing

Jul 9, 2019

You’re sorry that this life that we never asked for is the one that we have. But I’m not sorry.

Summer Bucket List

Jul 2, 2019

My intent for the month of July is to “be present,” but I want to make this my top bucket list item for the entire summer.

A tale of guilt & intervention

Jun 25, 2019

I know that this is what he needs, so I have no regrets, but as a mom, I feel lesser than.

Things Preemie Parents Don’t Want You to Know (But You Should)

Jun 18, 2019

Here some things that you should know, being in the support system of a family with a preemie.

Letter to a Preemie Mom

Jun 11, 2019

I see you. I’ve been there. I see you, your patience, gentleness, and strength, and sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone.

Go Love Yourself

Jun 4, 2019

I'm a work in progress, but I know a lot about building self-confidence that I need to share with you.

Learn How to Act FAST This Month

May 28, 2019

In honor of this year’s Stroke Awareness Month coming to an end, I wanted to share my personal story.

Inclusivity is the New Black

May 21, 2019

Ask the questions. Become more knowledgeable. Practice inclusivity. Be compassionate.

The Mom-petition

May 14, 2019

Have you gotten caught up in the competition of motherhood?

The Toll of the IFSP

May 7, 2019

We’ve become pretty good friends here, right? I think we have, so I’m going to be honest with you. Ready? Let's talk about the IFSP...

Milestone Worries

Apr 30, 2019

As a mother of a child with developmental delays, I am often asked the question: “When should I worry that my baby isn’t _______ yet?” and I want to offer my advice.

Celebrations & Sensory Kids

Apr 23, 2019

There are certain things that are important to remember when you have a loved one with sensory needs.

Our Favorite Children’s Books Right Now

Apr 16, 2019

Here is a collection of books that never get old at our house, recommended by a pretty cool two-year-old...

The Opposite-of-Terrible Twos

Apr 9, 2019

With all of the focus on the negative, it’s hard to remember that there is so much more to two! There are many other things that come with two that are unbelievably far from terrible.

"That's Your Dream?"

Mar 26, 2019

So many books tell us that we need to pursue our greatest dreams and be more than just who we are. But wait, what if that’s not my dream?

Prematurity in the Media

Mar 19, 2019

With premature birth being a huge concern in this country, it’s important to spread knowledge and awareness. Can the entertainment industry help with this?

Stepping Into Early Intervention

Mar 12, 2019

As a new mom, I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew this wasn’t “normal.” When you don't know what to do, where can you seek help?

Ways Being a Preemie Mom Has Changed Me

Mar 5, 2019

In what ways can prematurity change your parenting? For me, preemie life has lasted long beyond leaving the NICU.

Small Steps for Self-Care

Feb 26, 2019

How can you include self-care into your life without it feeling like work?

Mom Guilt: What is it and what can we do about it?

Feb 19, 2019

mom•guilt /mahm-gilt/ (noun): the unhappy feelings caused by thinking or feeling like you did something wrong, like missing your child blink, not having time to make teacher gifts, or forgetting that they don’t like scrambled eggs this week.

The Stages of Preemie Parenting

Feb 12, 2019

How can the stages of grief apply to the NICU experience?

How choosing my words changed my parenting

Feb 5, 2019

The words that we choose are more important to children than we realize. How can vocabulary be changed to create a more positive environment?

Five Toys for Babies and Toddlers That We Would Be Lost Without

Jan 29, 2019

We take our toys very seriously at our house. These are some of our favorites! What are yours?

Life as a Work-From-Home Mom

Jan 22, 2019

I'm sharing my personal experience of what it's like as a mother who does double-duty with work and parenting all day.

How I Created a Sensory Routine for My Toddler

Jan 15, 2019

Did you know that quick additions and modifications to your current routine can create a more regulated sensory environment for your child? Check out these tips to incorporate sensory activities into your every day!

Home with a Preemie During Flu & RSV Season

Jan 8, 2019

Premature babies have immature immune systems and get sick more easily than babies born at term. Learn the precautions that can be taken to minimize risk.

New Year...New Me?

Jan 1, 2019

What makes a New Year's resolution?

There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

Dec 25, 2018

If you know a family that is in the NICU during the holidays, here are a few ideas to make their days merry and bright.

It's Beginning to Look, Smell, Taste, Sound, and Feel A Lot Like Christmas

Dec 18, 2018

This year, I organized a Twelve Days of Christmas Crafting Extravaganza for Flynn. Each activity is sensory focused but is also so fun and, of course, holiday-themed.

NICU to Now

Dec 11, 2018

After being admitted to the hospital at 27-weeks pregnant with a sudden and severe case of preeclampsia, Kristina's pregnancy went from amazing to scary. At 28-weeks, she gave birth to her son Flynn via emergency c-section. This is Flynn's story.