Jan Pierce, M.Ed.
Listening:
More than Just Hearing
Focused listening is one of the most important skills
your child will ever learn. Children with strong listening skills do better in
school, sports, relationships and eventually in their careers. But many
children lack this important skill and parents are rightly concerned. What can
you do?
First, listening is much more than just hearing. It is
a given that you will have your child’s hearing checked by medical
professionals and follow up with any problems discovered. Occasionally a wax
build-up, ear infection, fluid behind the eardrum or other relatively minor ear
problems must be addressed. If your child does have a hearing loss, be very
sure to do all you can to maximize his or her hearing.
But listening problems are a different issue. “Listening is the conscious process of
receiving meaning from the sounds we hear. It implies the ability to stay
focused on the message, screen out distractions and make a meaningful
connection with the content of the message. Good listening requires practice
because it requires effort to do it well.”1
You can see that good listening requires not only the
ears, but engagement of the mind and body as well. It is a series of decisions
made by the listener and it can break down quite easily. Even children who want
to “pay attention” and “follow directions” may be unable to if their attention
is pulled away by background noise, movement, or other competing thoughts and
sounds.
Children need practice in focusing their attention, receiving the
message, understanding the message and then responding in the appropriate way.
Parents, you can help your child be a better listener.
Here are ten simple ways to build active listening skills.
READ MORE: How to help kids slow down and tune in
Practice
Makes Perfect
- Model
active listening. Build listening motivation and success by
intentionally gaining your child’s attention before expecting him to listen.
Whenever possible, make eye contact before speaking. When he responds, maintain
eye contact and repeat the content of the message or model good listening by
using appropriate body language such as nodding.
- Encourage
conversations on topics of your child’s choice. Model
good listening and show your appreciation for your child’s ideas. It is
surprising how little conversation takes place in our daily lives with today’s
busy schedules. Mealtimes are often good times to engage in conversation.
- Read
to him every day. A ten to fifteen minute read aloud
session is one of the most powerful strategies you have to build listening
skills. Select books he enjoys and stop often to predict what will happen next
or to ask his opinion about the action in the story.
- Build
her inner language by having your child repeat back what
you’ve said. Or ask your child to explain what is happening or what your child
plans to do. This will help your child to focus on the steps in the process and
will help with listening to receive information and follow steps sequentially.
- Do
the peanut butter and jelly sandwich game. Ask him to write
down the directions for making a pbj and then you model following those
directions exactly. Chances are there
will be some gaps in the directions which make for a funny and a bit messy
activity. The point will be made: listening and following directions is an
exact skill if you want a good end product.
- Play
the “add one more” game. Give one direction such as “Touch
your nose.” Then add a second direction and ask your child to do both in
sequence. Your child will need to remember to touch her nose and then go on to
the second command. Keep adding directions and see how many she can remember in
sequence. Children love this game.
- Cook
together. Find
a simple recipe and enjoy time in the kitchen together. Reading the directions
aloud and then following them carefully is great practice in building active
listening skills.
- Take
a Listening Walk. Go for a nature walk with the express
intention of noticing sounds. Shhh. What do you hear? Where is the sound coming
from? What is making that sound? You might even keep a listening log and record
the things you hear.
- Play
sound pattern games. Tap on a drum or clap hands in a variety
of different rhythmic patterns and have your child repeat the sounds. You can
play the same game by counting and clapping the syllables in words.
- Play
the old standby, Simon Says. This game is not only
fun for children; it also builds great listening skills. They do not respond
unless the leader says, “Simon says.”
Jan
Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and freelance writer. She is the author of Homegrown Readers: Simple Ways to Help Your
Child Learn to Read, available online at Barnes and Noble and Amazon. Find her at www.janpierce.net.
Sources
1. Helping
Kids with Learning Disabilities Build Listening Skills by Dr. Kari Miller, LA
Special Education Examiner, March 11, 2011.
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