Blogs     Hot Topics     Women's Health    

Your Wants and Desires

Learn how to think about what you want slightly differently...

Ilana Charette, life coach, wellness

Once you realize there is something you want, that is just good information to have. We often times get so caught up in the “not-having” that we actually repel anything close to the original desire from showing up in our experience.


I want to offer that the desire itself is the signal that there is possibility in it being yours, today. Simply because it has arrived into your awareness.


The way to achieve or receive is through the feeling of already having. Which is why when we get hit with the “not having,” it never happens. The true catch is that you must already feel like you have it in your experience in order to actually realize it on the physical plane.


I know this sounds not true. I know that if you have practiced being “realistic” in your life, then your brain would not automatically be able to accept this as truth. And that is the difference in why someone’s experience in the physical is “harder” or “easier” than yours.


Harder and easier are both mental constructs, as well. Neither is actually true. It is just a decision that it is or is not one way and the belief (and evidence gathered by your brain) to support it.


How I know there is all different perspectives in the world, is because there really are… So many different humans believing what is real for them. Means that really ANYTHING is possible because of that simple truth. Because everyone really is right because that is what they are choosing, and experiencing.


The question then becomes – what serves you? Does it serve you to continue believing everything you have believed thus far? The possibility of living in a world not believing what you always have seems scary. And that is the science behind why it is so hard to change. 

Once you are 25+ your brain has pretty much finished being wired, and is fully developed. Now it gets to rinse and repeat. The easy part takes over. Auto-pilot. Which means that you would continue living your life (more or less) exactly the same way you have all along. Just like how when you are driving a car on the highway, and you are not even really there for 3 exits. You are not even really there for your life.


It is in the decision to evaluate what it is you actually do believe, where you get to decide what serves you or no longer serves you. For example, if it is true that you could experience ahead of time the feelings of already having what it is you want, is there a downside to doing that and trying it out?


Not really, no. But how willing your brain is to try something new – or not, really comes down to the way your brain has been wired. And knowing all this is the foundation to know that your brain can be rewired to have everything you have ever wanted. Health. Success. Wealth. Relationships. You name it. And if you are willing to do this and feel the way it is to feel ahead of time, see what other possibilities come up that you never did expect. Because The Universe really does want us to have everything we want. And if you can’t quite get there conceptually, what is the downside to believing that could be true?


To your transformation externally – and most importantly, internally…


Ilana Charette is the lap band weight loss surgery coach. She coaches moms who struggle with regain after bariatric surgery.  She teaches women how to trust themselves -- and their bodies again. Find out more about her and follow along as she loses 160 lbs in public: and on Instagram. 

Other posts by this this blogger

How to Stay Sane during Quarantine in 4 Simple Steps

Aug 6, 2020

Here are 4 simple steps to keep yourself sane and on track with living your "best" life.

What if nothing can be done wrong?

Nov 13, 2019

Perfectionism and procrastination -- I don’t know how. And I don’t know how to do it right.

The Food Relationship

Oct 16, 2019

A client said to me, “Once I have bariatric surgery, I want my relationship with food to be different — and better.” But the real problem is, how do we change the message to our brain.

The Shame Game

Sep 27, 2019

Was there ever a period of time in your life where the feeling of shame was the theme? Shame when you didn't meet a goal you set. Shame when you gained weight rather then losing it.

Do Life Coaches have it all together?

Sep 16, 2019

I think my favorite part since deciding to become a life coach has been the awareness and recognition in my own self of the patterns my brain offers me. Thinking, feeling, doing patterns that have run my life. Patterns that get better and better because as you practice one thing, your brain just gets better and better at it.

An Open Letter to a Bariatric Surgery Patient

Sep 3, 2019

My own personal experience with my lap band weight loss surgery is filled with shame and struggle. I'm here for others who have been through the same struggles that I have with Bariatric surgery.

Owning Up

Aug 26, 2019

I am reflecting on the past 32 and a half years of my life and I have to acknowledge something truly uncomfortable about it all.

Coming Clean

Aug 19, 2019

I have spent the last few months slowly coming to the realization that I am actually now living a life I had previously only thought about and hoped for. I am a weight loss coach. And moreover, I am a weight loss coach who is still losing the rest of her weight.

Listen to Your Body

Jul 8, 2019

We are taught to ignore our body. Conditioned to mask headaches with ibuprofen, and to reach for food or alcohol when we really just need to take a nap or go to bed early.

Ready or Not?

Jun 24, 2019

Your kids are growing up, your parents are aging, your birthday candles are accumulating. Your life is happening right before your eyes - whether you're participating or not.

A Ten Minute Pause

Jun 17, 2019

When was the last time you stopped and deliberately took ten minutes to yourself for yourself?

What do you think about what you think?

Jun 3, 2019

Our brain offers us things to think that are "natural," "truthful," and unintentional. Are those thoughts serving you?

The Judgement-Free Zone

May 27, 2019

Nothing about you needs to change in order for you to be worthy or becoming your best friend...

How To Do It All Well Enough

May 13, 2019

Getting things done at a B- level means they are still getting done...