Different parents have different standards for polite
behavior when it comes to children, especially little ones. But eventually we
all want kids who are considerate and not rude to others. Here are four ways to
shape good manners in the very young, as suggested by mom and writer Emma Freire.
Set standards ahead of time. Before bringing your
children into a situation where you expect polite behavior, explain what you
want from them. For a visit to an unfamiliar neighbor, you might tell them to
say hello, greet the person by name, and give their own name. You could even
act out this little scenario together before leaving the house.
Display your own good manners consistently. Children
are bound to imitate us, whether we notice it or not. If you want your children
to learn to say “please” and “thank you,” make a habit of using those words
yourself around the house. Even though it might seem unnecessarily formal in a
family context, your example will have an impact on kids.
Related: Raising kind kids
Praise proper behavior. Compliments are more
effective than criticism, so be responsive to the moments when your kids show
good manners. At those times when they forget, or their behavior is less than
stellar, you might point out what you'd prefer to see, if it seems appropriate.
But don't belabor the issue. There are instances where it's best to let it go
and wait for an occasion to offer praise.
Bring in other authorities. Your influence may wear
thin after a while, but you can appeal to the outside world for help. Freire
gives the example of her five-year-old daughter, a fan of princesses. When she
calls food at the table “yucky,” her mother points out that a princess would
never use such a word.
Don't expect your education process to instantly produce
ideal behavior. All kids have rebellious periods, and it's not worth getting
into battles over manners. But consistent, gentle reminders will eventually
yield results.
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