We
must love ourselves before we can love others and offer kindness to the world
around us.
What better way to expand our love
for ourselves and others than by learning how to practice lovingkindness
meditation and sharing the experience with our children?
Understanding
Lovingkindness Meditation
Also called Metta or compassion
meditation, lovingkindness meditation is one of the most commonly practiced
types of meditations out there. Quite simply, it is the practice of directing
positive thoughts and well wishes to ourselves and others. It may seem odd at
first, but you can easily learn it.
As you sit
comfortably with your eyes closed, imagine what you wish for your life. The
four phrases that you either say out loud or think silently during the practice
are typically:
May
I/you be safe.
May
I/you be healthy and strong.
May
I/you be happy.
May
I/you be peaceful and at ease.
You repeat these
wishes, directing them first to yourself and then towards different people in
your life as follows:
- Start by directing the phrases to yourself.
- Next, direct the metta towards someone you
feel thankful for or who has helped you.
- Now visualize someone you feel neutral
about—people you neither like nor dislike. Direct the thoughts to that person.
- Next, direct the thoughts to someone you don’t
like or who you are having a difficult time dealing with.
- Finally, direct the metta towards everyone
universally: May all beings everywhere be happy.
Benefits
of Lovingkindness Meditation
Practicing
lovingkindness meditation ultimately changes how we relate to ourselves and
others. We start to feel less isolated and more connected.
According to
meditation expert and author Sharon Salzberg, “When we practice it, we
acknowledge that every one of us shares the same wish to be happy, and the same
vulnerability to change and suffering. We can shift the way we view ourselves
and others—with kindness instead of criticism.”
Scientific
research shows how lovingkindness meditation leads to positive changes in
the brain.
Performing acts
of kindness gives us a natural high. Sitting and practicing this
meditation can cause the same changes in our bodies and minds. Lovingkindness meditation
brings amazing benefits to our lives such as:
- Reducing stress
and anxiety
- Lifting our mood
and producing more positive emotions
- Increasing
feelings of hope
- Decreasing
physical and emotional pain
- Reducing anger
- Increasing
positive social emotions toward new people as well as loved ones
- Activating
empathy
- Improving social
connection
- Increasing
self-love and how we feel about ourselves
Share This Practice
With Your Children
After learning about all the
benefits, don’t you just want to share some lovingkindness with your kids right
now?
This type of meditation allows
children to get in touch with their feelings. It helps guide them in sending
positive and healing energy to people and children in other places—even those
who have hurt them like a bully at school. Children can develop a sense of
power as they gain self-love and compassion for others. The practice is special
since it goes beyond cultural barriers, economic situations, educational
backgrounds, and geographic locations. It is also very simple to do and does
not require any equipment.
We can teach our
children about lovingkindness by helping them send the four wishes to different
people in their lives.
Ask your children
to come up with their own loving thoughts. They can also send their wishes to
favorite objects in their lives like a pet, television or book character,
toy, or stuffed animal. You can also go through the wishes by saying them to
each other.
One mother
explained how she incorporated lovingkindness meditation into their family’s
bedtime routine. She says May You Be Happy and then the
children repeat it back to her. They go through this process a few times,
repeating the different phrases.
This is a perfect
time to teach your children how to spread love through lovingkindness
meditation. It is also a tool that they can take with them throughout the year,
helping them to feel happier, calmer, healthier, and better connected to
others.
Enjoy these children’s books about
lovingkindness meditation
- Audrey's
Journey: Loving Kindness by Kerry Alison Wekelo
- Loving-Kindness
Meditation
by Sami Jo
- Meditation
for Kids: The Loving Kindness by Olivia Brown
- Moose's
Mindful Mantra
by Mernette Martin
- Zen
Learns Lovingkindness (A Boy Named Zen) by Jeremiah Lee Olson
Sandi Schwartz is a freelance
writer/blogger and mother of two. She has written extensively about parenting,
wellness, and environmental issues. You can find her at www.happysciencemom.com.
Other articles by HVP News Reporters