Even though, unlike adults,
the vast majority of teens don’t need to worry about paying bills, graying
hair, and faltering health, they nevertheless report more stress than their
elders, especially during the school year and of course especially during
lockdown.
Left Brain Buddha’s Sarah Ruddell Beach writes that this is not only normal, it is to be
expected, and can best be dealt with through mindfulness.
It’s been around for
centuries, but the time for mindfulness has never been better, especially for
teens needing to decompress. According to Beach, the two most common methods
teens employ to deal with stress are video games and surfing the internet,
which can, and often do, make the situation worse, sometimes much worse.
Beach defines mindfulness as
“present-moment, nonjudgmental awareness.” Unlike surfing the internet and
video games, which require focusing outside the mind and body, mindfulness goes
within. She writes: “Research indicates that
when teens consistently practice mindfulness, it lowers rates of anxiety and
depression, and leads to better sleep, stronger relationships, and increased
self-awareness, all of which can go a long way toward ameliorating the impact
of stress.”
READ MORE: How to support your teen through the pandemic
First and foremost, Beach
says expecting stress is best. “Research
shows that people who expect stress are actually less
stressed. When we disabuse ourselves of the silly notion that things
will always be easy and our day will generally go as planned, we are more
prepared to handle the curveballs life likes to throw at us.”
Beach
maintains it’s best to let teens know their stress is an entirely normal
reaction to a challenge. Among
the many helpful suggestions in her article is bringing attention to one’s
breathing, which is proven to lower one’s heart rate.
She also notes how you can
help a teen realize the extent to which their worry is a story they’re telling,
as opposed to an objective truth. She writes: “A big part of what stresses us
out is the story we tell ourselves
about what’s happening. Encourage your teen to stop when she is
stressed, and ask herself, “What’s the story?” Is she telling
herself she’ll fail the test, or that no one likes her? Ask if she can drop the
story, and just notice what is
actually happening.”
As she explains it, “teens,
given their intense, developmentally-appropriate focus on the self, often
believe the negative stream of self-critical thoughts in their heads.” You
can help them realize “thoughts are not facts.”
Among her other suggestions
are a tech detox, focusing on music (not always lyrics), and an acknowledgment
of teens’ tendency to not realize the impermanence of things. “With
mindfulness,” she writes, “we come to understand that no emotion lasts forever. When you pay
close attention to it, an emotion
is actually a constantly shifting combination of sensations and
thoughts and feelings and memories. No two seconds of your emotional experience
are identical.”