We’ve all heard about the ways in which COVID-19 health
protocols have been politicized in recent months. How do we talk to our teens
about safety measures that protect our families’ older and more disease-prone
members without being seen as obstructive or, heavens forbid, political?
Jessica Castillo has written in Teen Vogue about
what responsible teens can do when they encounter people who will not only wear
a mask, but question why they’re worn in the first place.
“It can be difficult to find common ground with someone
who refuses to wear a mask for whatever reason. Maybe they falsely believe the
coronavirus isn’t that serious, even after hundreds of thousands of people have
died due to complications linked to COVID-19,” she writes. “Whatever their reasoning, Julia Marcus, an
epidemiologist and an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, believes
that talking to someone with empathy is likely to be more effective in
convincing them to wear a mask then shaming them for their actions might.”
Marcus’ advice is to be honest. “I’ll just say it: I don’t
like wearing a mask. I find it uncomfortable,” she said. “It’s a constant
reminder that I’m living in a pandemic, which I’d rather forget.” She notes
that talking about why someone finds wearing a mask difficult — whether it’s
the way the loops might irritate the back of your ear, or feeling like
breathing is more difficult — allows for problem solving and finding more
comfortable options together.”
Castillo adds that family physician Dr. Michael Richardson
believes in using a practice called humble inquiry, which focuses on both
building trust with the other person and asking questions. “Instead of telling
someone what to do right away, you want to explore why they’re doing it, and
what is the reasoning behind their behaviors, in a very unbiased and
nonjudgmental way,” he says. He suggests that the mask wearer mirror someone’s
statements back to them as questions, thereby creating deeper conversations
that go beyond roadblock statements like, “I don’t want to.”
“Our country is very divided right now,” Whitney Goodman,
a licensed family therapist, told Teen Vogue. She
recommends trying to separate your own worth from the other person’s behavior
as best you can.
Because masks will likely be part of our public lives for
at least the next few months, if not years, Castillo reiterates that it’s
important to create good habits, express and enforce your personal limits as
soon as you can, and learn how to discuss and navigate the limits of those around
you.