Whether your child has special needs or is still developing
communication skills, understanding and carrying out directions can be more of
a challenge than adults realize. If you're having trouble getting your child to
respond to instructions, try these tips from Amanda Morin, author and former
early intervention specialist.
Get your child's attention. Make sure your child is
paying attention by telling them to look towards you because you need them to
listen. It's even easier for them if you move to where they can see you.
Reduce distractions. It will be hard for your child
to focus on what you're saying if they're preoccupied with something else. Turn
off the TV or ask them to put down the book or video game. At the same time,
model the behavior you want by giving them your full attention as you speak.
Don't raise your voice. You may have the urge to
speak loudly for emphasis, but they're likely to be distracted by having to
process a louder tone and what it implies. Speak quietly and calmly.
Pause after you speak. Teachers and educational TV
shows use “wait time,” a three- to seven-second pause to allow kids to absorb
information that's just been delivered. If your child doesn't respond after the
pause, then you can repeat the directions.
Verify comprehension. Ask your child to repeat back
the instructions to make sure the meaning got through. This step also gives the
child a chance to ask questions and allows you to clarify if something got
lost.
Be direct. Often parents ask children do
something “Would you please...?”, which makes them think they have a choice.
It's better to tell them: “Please do this.”
Simplify. A list of instructions may be hard to keep
straight. You can deliver one request at a time, number the steps (not more
than four), or associate one action with another (“When you do X, don't forget
to do Y.”)
Be specific. “Clean up your room” may not mean the
same thing to your child as it does to you. Or they may not even know where to
start. “Put your toys in the bins and hang up your clothes” is likely to get
better results.
Use visuals. If language processing is difficult, it
may help if you point to what you're talking about. Or you can demonstrate the
behavior you're looking for, and then ask your child to take over the activity.
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