Prior to
the 1950s, there is no record of the word “underachiever.” Most parents would
agree the concept has grown and broadened in the ensuing decades, particularly
recently. Thankfully, terms like “emotional intelligence” and “soft skills” (i.e.
innate “people skills” that can’t be taught, but are extremely useful) have
entered the lexicon, conveying some value on “intelligence” that can’t be
measured academically or through an IQ test. These have joined “street smarts,”
“horse sense,” and “common sense.”
If you
feel your child falls into “underachiever” status, Armin at MrDad.com offers a guide that can help clarify if your child is, indeed, in that
category, and if so, possible remedies to get them operating at their highest
potential.
But first
things first: Armin offers a list of problems that can be attributed to a
child’s performance that have nothing directly to do with the child or their
ability. They are:
- There’s not enough of a
challenge
- There’s too much or too little
competition
- He’s having conflict with one
or more of his teachers
- He has an
unidentified/undiagnosed learning disability
- There’s a mismatch between his
preferred learning style and what’s possible given the limits of online
education in the COVID-19 era
- He’s feeling a lot of pressure
from his peers
- He doesn’t have enough
opportunities to be creative
- There’s too much—or too
little—structure in the classroom
READ MORE: Child Behavior: Is your child an underachiever?
Also,
underachievement may also be caused by factors within the home, such as:
- High levels of stress in the
home (which are almost guaranteed these days)
- Overtly protective parents
- Parents’ unrealistically high
expectations or demand for perfection
- Low expectations from the
parents (this is clearly not the case for you, but in families where the
parents don’t care, the children have no motivation to work hard and
achieve)
What to
do? Mr. Dad offers a few suggestions:
- Communicate regularly with your child’s teacher about the problem.
- Communicate regularly with your child. In a non-judgmental way, ask your child how things are going and whether he thinks he’s doing his best work. If he agrees that he isn’t, ask what he thinks he’d need to improve his grades.
- Listen carefully. If your child needs a little help with organization, help. If he needs more (or fewer) reminders about homework and projects, adjust accordingly. If he needs a tutor, get one. If he needs incentives and rewards, think of ways to provide them (but stay away from bribery)
- Join a parent support group for gifted children and encourage your child to participate in activities that involve other gifted children.
- Arrange for an evaluation by a school- or private psychologist who specializes in helping underachieving children.
- Continue to encourage your child’s interests, regardless of the level of school success.
- Adjust your expectations if necessary. Even gifted children have limits.
- Never, ever give up on your child.
That last
one is the most important. Never give up on your child!