Hot Topics     Home and Family     Healthy Kids     Teen Health    

Harmonious siblings…is there such a thing?



Mommy blogger suggests eight tips to help your kids stay friends

kids, siblings, rivalry, parents, peace, tips


When Tommy of the Smothers Brothers comedy duo joked repeatedly, “Mom always liked you best,” he was playing on our painful awareness of how friction can arise between siblings. Most of us make an effort not to favor one child over another, but parents will help their kids get along even better by following these tips from the blog MamaSmiles.

Schedule family activities.

Bonds are fortified when the family spends time together regularly, in situations where you can interact, talk, laugh. Possible activities to share include taking walks, making art or crafts, playing age-appropriate versions of chess, Monopoly and listening to music.

Give kids a chance to solve their own conflicts.

They need to practice negotiation skills, and they often come up with great, fair solutions. Intervene only when necessary.

Emphasize problem-solving.

If you do have to step into an argument, don't be distracted by the kids' accounts of the conflict. Focus on how to solve the problem they're fighting over. Also be aware of predisposing causes such as hunger, being tired or lack of individual attention from parents.

Make respect important.

Teach your kids to treat each other with respect, even when they don't understand each other's emotions. Make sure to model the same respect in your relationships with them.

View each child as an individual.

Resist the urge to pigeonhole or label kids by identifying them by their talents or emphasizing their birth order. The less you label them, the more freedom they'll have to follow their own interests and not feel constrained by your view of them and their siblings.

Prioritize people over objects.

If your kids insist on fighting over a toy, it's appropriate to refuse to allow either of them to play with the toy for a while. Show them that their relationship is more important than their possessions.

Comment on kindness.

Notice when they do nice things for each other, however small, and let them know you appreciate such kindnesses. 

Read books on the topic.

Recommended books include Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (W. W. Norton & Company, 2012) and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings by Laura Markham (TarcherPerigee, 2015).



Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Resume tips for job seekers with disabilities

    Some of the most important things to keep in mind

    For the most part, writing a resume as a disabled worker involves the same best practices as writing any type of resume. Some of the most important things to keep in mind include: read more »
  • Five key tips to follow when turning the car keys over to your teen

    The clearer parents are in establishing driving rule, the safer teen drivers will be

    The key to letting teenagers drive solo is ensuring they know all that they’re getting into… as well as your fears. Boys Town of Nebraska lists 5 key tips to keep in mind when turning over the keys to your teen. read more »
  • Teaching your kids life skills

    Five suggestions for parents to try

    A balanced life requires practical skills, not just the academic learning kids get in school. Mothering.com suggests teaching children these five important life skills. They can be introduced slowly and adapted to any age level. read more »
  • Essential life skills every eight-year-old should have

    It's not to late to teach these, if you haven’t yet

    While it is amazing what kids can do on social media and with complex video games, it’s also sadly amazing what they often cannot do. Now’s the perfect time to remedy that. read more »
  • Fun & easy Easter crafts for kids

    Make your kids hoppy with these simple crafts

    Kids love to decorate for the holidays. Bring them on board with these Easter crafts to brighten up this special day. read more »
  • Get your kids interested in birding

    Great spots you can watch birds in the Hudson Valley

    NYS has hundreds of species of birds. The Hudson Valley has lots of places where you and your family can observe them. See this list of places to go and what you may see. read more »
  • Calling all birdwatchers

    Check out Birdability which promotes birding for everyone

    Through education, outreach and advocacy, Birdability works to ensure the birding community and the outdoors are welcoming, inclusive, safe and accessible for everybody. We focus on people with mobility challenges, blindness or low vision, chronic illness, intellectual or developmental disabilities, mental illness, and those who are neurodivergent, deaf or hard of hearing or who have other health concerns. In addition to current birders, we strive to introduce birding to people with disabilities and other health concerns who are not yet birders so they too can experience the joys of birding. read more »
  • Lucky mint brownie perfection

    A twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate

    How lucky you must be to come across this recipe just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This one is a twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate that’s sure to have almost anyone’s taste buds screaming “yum.” This dessert might just be the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow this year. read more »
  • Entertaining on Easter

    5 tips to make holiday hosting simple

    Easter signals springtime and provides an opportunity to gather with loved ones to celebrate. However, hosting the get-together – whether brunch, lunch or dinner – requires planning and preparation to ensure the event is enjoyable. read more »
  • The connection between your heart and kidneys

    There are many links between these two organs

    While people may think about heart disease and kidney disease as two different health problems, there are many links between them. read more »