For
Ondie James, one of the joys of babysitting and co-parenting her grandchildren
is that she's an everyday part of their lives.
"They
are your legacy - that's what out-weighs everything - the love you have for
your grandchildren, being a part of their life, helping to mold them into
decent human beings," said James, of Poughkeepsie.
READ MORE: 15 lessons from your grandmother
Like
James, many grandparents have a hand in the care of the grandchildren, with
about 4,500 of them in the Mid-Hudson Valley responsible for their
grandchildren in 2006, according to the NY Courts. Although grandparents caring
for their grandchildren isn't new, with changing family dynamics, like
single-parenthood, long work hours and longer life expectancies, families are
increasingly turning to grandparents for childcare, including people in
mid-life through old-age.
James
gives 100 percent to her grandchildren's care, but she's also careful to take
time for herself and husband.
"Do
everything you can for your grandchildren but make it priority to still live
your life and enjoy your life," she said. "Circumstances can take
over."
As
well, while James and her grandchildren's parents agree on issues involving the
kids, overall, she said payment for babysitting and costs involved in the
children's care should be addressed.
"There
are so many dynamics that go into it," she said.
READ MORE: Grandma baby-proofs her home
Family
resources: Connect
with Cornell Cooperative Extension for its Relatives as Parents Program (RAPP),
a free community-based offering for families. The program provides peer support
groups, resources for non-parent caregivers raising children and more.
Cornell
Cooperative Extension, Orange County
Website:
cceorangecounty.org/family/parenting-and-family-life/relatives-as-parents-programrapp
Email: orange@cornell.edu
Cornell
Cooperative Extension, Dutchess County
Website:
ccedutchess.org/family/relatives-as-parents-program
Email: dutchess@cornell.edu
Cornell
Cooperative Extension, Ulster County
Website: ulster.cce.cornell.edu
Phone: 845-340-3990
Email: ulster@cornell.edu
Foster
family ties: Studies
show an association between social relationships and health. In fact, some
grandparents find that caring for their grandchildren provides an emotional
bond that leads to greater activity, and healthier eating. Source: nia.nih.gov
When
grandparents babysit keep these points in mind:
•
Talk with the grandparent about the job's details, including days and times for
babysitting, meals, compensation, discipline, homework and play time.
•
If your child needs to be driven from one place to another, be sure his or her
grandparent is up to the task and has a car seat for your youngster.
•
If the babysitting is at the grandparent's house, see that it's properly
safeguarded, including that all medications and poisons are out of reach,
stairways are secured, and sharp corners are safeguarded.
•
Talk often with the grandparent and your children about how things are going.
Make changes, accordingly.
•
Remember, having a grandparent as a babysitter is a wonderful way to foster
family ties and lasting memories. It also helps keep grandparents active and
social, while giving children the opportunity to appreciate older adults.
Karen Maserjian Shan is a writer in the Hudson Valley.