If you
worry that your kids have been “ruined” by an increase in their screen time
since Covid, you are not alone. Dana Avidan Cohn was such a parent, but she’s brought her
screen-addicted sons back from the brink. Writing for msn.com, she details what
it took, and shares how everyone, needless to say, is happier for it.
As we move
further away from “the time before,” perspectives have changed on many things,
especially screen time for the kids. Cohn notes this distinctive trajectory.
Like her, prior to Covid-19, my friends and I – with children ranging in age
from toddlerhood to young adulthood – fretted about how much time the children
spent (and, let’s be honest, how much time we
spent) in front of screens. We expended significant effort – not always
successfully, but we tried – getting the youngsters outside, among friends,
running around like we did in our childhoods, when “screen time” was just
sitcoms and, for some of us, MTV.
Then, of
course, Covid-19 hit, and screens became the only way for kids to go to school,
and safely hang out and play with their peers. Like a lot of parents, Cohn threw
her hands up, and let things slide in a big way, eventually giving her two sons
practically unlimited screen time. She had work to do herself and needed to care
for a two-year-old daughter. Of course she was stressed out. And she wrestled
with guilt over depriving them of so much. But as long as her boys were safe,
entire days of screen time were... OK?
READ MORE: Co-learner, not gatekeeper
At first,
maybe. But then, she writes: “Before long, things started to get out of
control. They were online all day long. And it started to impact their mood and
behavior. Every time I would ask them to shut off the devices and take a break
or play outside, they would complain and argue. They would spend the whole day
asking when they could get back on – like some kind of incessant two-headed
whine monster.”
Cohn and
her husband reset limits. The boys could play in the afternoon from 5 to 6 p.m.
before dinner. The parents would be firm, consistent. Sounds simple. It was
not.
As Cohn
writes: “The withdrawal was real. They were awful for days! Genuinely upset and
deeply frustrated around the clock. They cried, they were angry, they gave a million
reasons why it wasn't fair. They both had toddler-style meltdowns! Really, if
it wasn't so upsetting, it would have been quite funny. But after a few days,
they started to settle into the new routine. They began to pull out their old
toys and to play cards, Legos, and invent new make-believe games together!
Bedtime got easier and their sleep improved. They seemed calmer. It was truly
shocking how much of a difference we noticed in them.”
It can be done, fellow
parents. But as with so many things, success depends on firmness and
consistency.