When thinking about
back-to-school season, most people naturally think of academics. However, it’s
just as important to focus on social and emotional skills.
Children of all
ages are still learning to manage their emotions and get along with others. As
they learn these skills, behaviors that make academic learning more challenging
for everyone else in the classroom may be seen.
“Social and
emotional skills are crucial to a child’s academic success, but they aren’t
inherent,” said Carter Peters from KinderCare’s inclusion services team. “Teachers
tell us again and again that starting the school year with a grasp on social
emotional learning is just as important as knowing academic concepts. Children
who are struggling to manage their emotions and transition into the classroom may
not be able to focus on academics.”
Consider these
three skills families can teach their children before school starts to help
build friendships.
Turn Transitions
into Games
Making a game out
of stressful transitions can help both you and your child reframe your mindsets
and reduce stress. Asking your child “Can you hop like a bunny while you get
your school things together?” or playing a listening game like “Simon Says” can
help your child develop executive function skills such as impulse control. You
could also give him or her choices. For example, tell your child “You can put
your shoes on yourself or I can help you,” which lets him or her feel a sense
of autonomy and control when choosing the desired solution.
READ MORE: Child Behavior: The importance of friendship
Take Turns
One thing younger
children often struggle with is the concept of sharing. Adults can forget that
to young children sharing implies giving something up, Peters said. If your
child struggles to share, try introducing the concept of taking turns: “It’s
Mariah’s turn for the slide. When she’s done then you can go,” for example. Help
your child practice how to have conversations with playmates about taking
turns.
Play a ‘What if’ Game
Help school-age
children build a growth mindset by problem-solving responses to common
friendship issues. Ask your child “What would you do if…?” and help him or her practice
responses. Thinking of responses ahead of time gives your child a rehearsed
playbook to choose from in the moment. The more he or she practices these
responses, the less you will see unwanted behaviors such as yelling or hitting.
By giving children the autonomy to choose their own responses, you demonstrate
your trust in them, which can give children a powerful sense of their own
abilities to act maturely.
“The need to
practice impulse control and self-regulation skills will remain a challenge
throughout childhood as executive function skills continue to develop into a
person’s mid-20s,” Peters said. “It’s not that children don’t ‘know better,’
it’s more their brains are still learning these vital social and emotional
skills.”
Building these
social skills now can help your children start the school year ready to learn
and grow. Find more tips to build children’s social and emotional skills at kindercare.com.
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