What
does it mean to be smart? For years, parents and educational
professionals alike have equated a child’s ability level and potential with
their score on IQ tests.
An
IQ, or intelligence quotient, has value and, in many instances, is an
excellent predictor of success, especially academic success. But it cannot
predict a child’s academic performance with 100% accuracy.
IQ
tests have often been the target of criticism and although they are
becoming a more comprehensive tool to assess intelligence, they do
not tell us how creative a child is, nor do they measure social and
interpersonal skills, or “street smarts.”
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Over the years
a number of psychologists and researchers have become interested in the
limitations of traditional IQ tests and have formulated new ways of looking at
and measuring a child’s competence and predicting their potential for
success.
In
1995, Dr. Daniel Goleman published his runaway
bestseller Emotional Intelligence, which led to the coining of new
term: emotional IQ or EQ.
What
exactly is emotional intelligence? According
to Goleman, “Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive
emotions, to access and generate emotions in order to assist thought; to
understand emotions and emotional knowledge and to effectively manage emotions
to promote emotional and intellectual growth.” Most definitions have four
parts or four “emotional competencies.”
1. Perceiving emotions
This
refers to the ability to “read” emotions and respond appropriately
in oneself or others. A child with this capacity understands how
others feel and how to correctly respond, as well as how to understand emotions
in stories or in people’s faces. Reading social cues is an important skill
for success in the complex world of adolescent and adult relationships.
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2. Emotional understanding
A child
with this skill recognizes the cause and effect relationships between
feelings, thoughts and behavior. For example, sadness often accompanies
loss. This skill helps a child understand the role emotions play in
friendships and group activities.
3. Using emotions
to guide thought?
This
skill allows a child to incorporate feelings into reasoning and how
this thinking is related to their mood and behavior. The skill enables a
child to see how emotions help to prioritize thinking by directing attention to
important information.
4. Emotional management?
This
is probably the most important competency one can possess in
childhood. This skill allows children to control and use emotions and
impulses to help them learn and grow, and also recognize the implications of
their emotions and behavior on others. Emotional management also enables
children to recognize how reasonable their emotions are, in turn allowing them
to replace negative emotions with positive ones.
Emotional
intelligence greatly influences a child’s ability to cope and succeed with
the demands and pressures encountered at home, school and at
play. Emotional intelligence shouldn’t be seen as
a separate intelligence; rather it can compliment cognitive intelligence
to enhance a child’s ability to function successfully in all areas, academic
and social.
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Daniel Goleman strongly
believes that emotional intelligence is the best predictor of success in life,
and other researchers agree. They feel that emotional intelligence might
redefine what it means to be “smart.”
Dr.
John Gottman says in his book Raising an
Emotionally Intelligent Child, “Science has discovered a
tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. They have found
that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings
will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including
family relationships.”
The
authors of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting believe that “an
adolescent who is able to read a teacher’s feelings is more likely to get a
break on a late assignment, extra help, and maybe even a better grade than a
student with a strong IQ but a weaker EQ.
It
remains to be seen if EQ is merely the flavor of the month in psychology, or it
will eventually take a place among the variables used to assess one’s
competence/potential in a number of environments. If your child was assessed
with a lower IQ score or doesn’t get straight A’s, don’t
despair — you may be raising the next “emotional” Einstein.
Paul
Schwartz, PhD., is a professor of psychology and education at Mount Saint Mary
College.