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"That's Your Dream?"



Born to Mom

I read a lot of books…
Okay, you caught me: I listen to a lot of books these days.

I’m into books about child psychology and self-help. I love to read motivational stories and tips on how to relax and declutter. I could tell you all about how I’ve so recently learned to live unapologetically and follow my wildest dreams to become a mogul. But wait, what if that’s not my dream? What happens if I don’t want to be the CEO of a huge company? So many books tell us that we need to pursue our greatest dreams and be more than just who we are. Don’t get me wrong, I admire those who dream so greatly and strive to create the next empire, especially those who do so while raising a family. If you’re reading this and that is you, I salute you. As someone who does not share those same goals however, that does not mean that I lack drive, tenacity, knowledge, or desire but what if my dream is to be “just a mom?”

Just as each person is different, so is each dream and ever since I can remember, I have dreamt of having children. As early as age four, I would walk around with a pillow stuffed under my shirt, parade through grocery stores with armfuls of dolls, and ask for playpens and cribs for my “babies” for holidays and birthdays. For school, we would fill out profiles that included our picture and answers to a few questions. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” they would ask, and I would reply “A mom.” Notice that I didn’t say “Just a mom,” I said “A mom” because to me, that was (and still is) my wildest dream.

Also, what is “just a mom” anyway? A mother, by design, is, but not limited to: a housekeeper, chef, teacher, nurse, coach, chauffeur, monster slayer, event planner, master organizer, decorator, Pinterest researcher, hairstylist, cheerleader, crafter, best friend, dishwasher, launderer, baker, counselor, tear wiper, boo-boo fixer, bodyguard, storyteller, fort builder, songwriter, tantrum tamer, and multi-tasking expert. I don’t see how anyone with a list of responsibilities miles long is just anything. Maybe just amazing or just extraordinary.

So, what about those of us who dream of being a parent first and a businesswoman second?
I’m certain that I’m not the only one who works to survive, not because I dream of climbing the ladder.
Perhaps there is a whole genre that I’m missing: the one where there is reassurance that this dream is more than enough. Maybe it’s out there somewhere and I haven’t come across it yet, or possibly our encouragement must come from within ourselves and one another. If that’s the case, than I will scream it at the top of my lungs:

You are enough as you are. Do not let society’s ideals shape you without your consent. Only you can create the perfect you, and you are the best you that there is, no matter your dream.

Girl, if your dream is to be a PTA mom, join. If you want to be the mom who packs the most perfect lunches, be her. If you want to throw the greatest themed birthday parties, head to Pinterest and create your board.  These dreams are just as, if not more, important as the ones mentioned in any book, if they are important to you.

RELATED: Can you afford to stay home with your baby? 

I don’t think that a passion solely for motherhood actually makes someone a better mom than someone who is also actively pursuing a business goal or has enthusiasm for her career. All I’m saying is that it makes us equal, just as worthy of bestselling books and praise for chasing incredible dreams.

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Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. You can read my posts here every Tuesday! Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy.

Do you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions? Contact me via email: kristina.mulligan.blogs@gmail.com


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