I read a lot of books…
Okay, you caught me: I listen to a
lot of books these days.
I’m into books about child psychology and self-help. I love
to read motivational stories and tips on how to relax and declutter. I could
tell you all about how I’ve so recently learned to live unapologetically and
follow my wildest dreams to become a mogul. But wait, what if that’s not my dream? What happens if I don’t want
to be the CEO of a huge company? So many books tell us that we need to pursue our
greatest dreams and be more than just
who we are. Don’t get me wrong, I admire those who dream so greatly and strive
to create the next empire, especially those who do so while raising a family.
If you’re reading this and that is you, I salute you. As someone who does not
share those same goals however, that does not mean that I lack drive, tenacity,
knowledge, or desire but what if my dream is to be “just a mom?”
Just as each person is different, so is each dream and ever
since I can remember, I have dreamt of having children. As early as age four, I
would walk around with a pillow stuffed under my shirt, parade through grocery
stores with armfuls of dolls, and ask for playpens and cribs for my “babies”
for holidays and birthdays. For school, we would fill out profiles that included
our picture and answers to a few questions. “What do you want to be when you grow
up?” they would ask, and I would reply “A mom.” Notice that I didn’t say “Just
a mom,” I said “A mom” because to me, that was
(and still is) my wildest dream.
Also, what is “just a mom” anyway? A mother, by design, is,
but not limited to: a housekeeper, chef, teacher, nurse, coach, chauffeur,
monster slayer, event planner, master organizer, decorator, Pinterest researcher,
hairstylist, cheerleader, crafter, best friend, dishwasher, launderer, baker,
counselor, tear wiper, boo-boo fixer, bodyguard, storyteller, fort builder, songwriter,
tantrum tamer, and multi-tasking expert. I don’t see how anyone with a list of
responsibilities miles long is just
anything. Maybe just amazing or just extraordinary.
So, what about those of us who dream of being a parent first
and a businesswoman second?
I’m certain that I’m not the only one who
works to survive, not because I dream of climbing the ladder.
Perhaps there is a whole genre that I’m missing: the one where there is
reassurance that this dream is more than enough. Maybe it’s out there somewhere
and I haven’t come across it yet, or possibly our encouragement must come from
within ourselves and one another. If that’s the case, than I will scream it at
the top of my lungs:
You are enough as you are. Do not let society’s ideals shape you
without your consent. Only you can create the perfect you, and you are
the best you that there is, no matter your dream.
Girl, if your dream is to be a PTA mom, join. If you want to
be the mom who packs the most perfect lunches, be her. If you want to throw the
greatest themed birthday parties, head to Pinterest and create your board. These dreams are just as, if not more, important
as the ones mentioned in any book, if they are important to you.
RELATED: Can you afford to stay home with your baby?
I don’t think that a passion solely for motherhood actually
makes someone a better mom than someone who is also actively pursuing a
business goal or has enthusiasm for her career. All I’m saying is that it makes
us equal, just as worthy of bestselling books and praise for chasing incredible
dreams.
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Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. You can read my posts here every Tuesday! Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy. Do you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions? Contact me via email: kristina.mulligan.blogs@gmail.com!
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Aug 6, 2020
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Aug 6, 2020
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Aug 6, 2020
COVID-19 is causing fear in many and panic in others. In some way, however, we all feel the anxiety – and possibly the soreness of dry hands.
Aug 6, 2020
The idea of inclusivity is a beautiful thing - people of all types of abilities playing together, being accepting/accepted and kind. What is the reality?
Aug 6, 2020
Please join us in the movement!
Oct 1, 2019
Every person in a baby’s life – grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings, cousins, and friends – could and should be responsible for keeping him or her healthy.
Sep 23, 2019
I've just gotten so used to carrying all of this weight that it appears to be much lighter to anyone looking in. Or maybe they just don't see me.
Sep 10, 2019
The event was a one mile walk/run for people of all abilities, and we were proud to race alongside every participant sporting our capes for our team, Flynn's Superheroes.
Sep 3, 2019
September is NICU Awareness Month. Though the time and place is difficult for me to revisit, I know that it is so crucial to do.
Aug 27, 2019
It's Hudson Valley Parent's 25th Anniversary, so I'm sharing why I blog.
Aug 20, 2019
I sat down with Occupational Therapist Elizabeth Harnett Ms,otr/l to get your top questions about occupational therapy answered.
Aug 13, 2019
This past weekend we attended the 2nd Annual Sunflower Cutting Event hosted by Hudson Valley Cold Pressed Oils in Pleasant Valley.
Aug 6, 2019
This past week may have been Shark Week, but for us, it was “Vehicle Week.” We used our bodies, our senses, and our imaginations to explore all there is to know about things that go!
Jul 30, 2019
I’m a mom, and those three letters carry so much weight, responsibility, and love in so many different ways for every type of mother.
Jul 23, 2019
Hey, I know it's not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I'd rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like you. You don't sing, you don't dance. So grey all the time!
Jul 16, 2019
This past Saturday, our family attended a Superhero Breakfast at the Old Dutch Church in Port Ewen. The event benefited the non-profit organization Christmas Wishes Ulster County.
Jul 9, 2019
You’re sorry that this life that we never asked for is the one that we have. But I’m not sorry.
Jul 2, 2019
My intent for the month of July is to “be present,” but I want to make this my top bucket list item for the entire summer.
Jun 25, 2019
I know that this is what he needs, so I have no regrets, but as a mom, I feel lesser than.
Jun 18, 2019
Here some things that you should know, being in the support system of a family with a preemie.
Jun 11, 2019
I see you. I’ve been there. I see you, your patience, gentleness, and strength, and sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone.
Jun 4, 2019
I'm a work in progress, but I know a lot about building self-confidence that I need to share with you.
May 28, 2019
In honor of this year’s Stroke Awareness Month coming to an end, I wanted to share my personal story.
May 21, 2019
Ask the questions. Become more knowledgeable. Practice inclusivity. Be compassionate.
May 14, 2019
Have you gotten caught up in the competition of motherhood?
May 7, 2019
We’ve become pretty good friends here, right? I think we have, so I’m going to be honest with you. Ready? Let's talk about the IFSP...
Apr 30, 2019
As a mother of a child with developmental delays, I am often asked the question: “When should I worry that my baby isn’t _______ yet?” and I want to offer my advice.
Apr 23, 2019
There are certain things that are important to remember when you have a loved one with sensory needs.
Apr 16, 2019
Here is a collection of books that never get old at our house, recommended by a pretty cool two-year-old...
Apr 9, 2019
With all of the focus on the negative, it’s hard to remember that there is so much more to two! There are many other things that come with two that are unbelievably far from terrible.
Apr 2, 2019
I sat down with a very special preemie dad to ask some important questions.
Mar 19, 2019
With premature birth being a huge concern in this country, it’s important to spread knowledge and awareness. Can the entertainment industry help with this?
Mar 12, 2019
As a new mom, I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew this wasn’t “normal.” When you don't know what to do, where can you seek help?
Mar 5, 2019
In what ways can prematurity change your parenting? For me, preemie life has lasted long beyond leaving the NICU.
Feb 26, 2019
How can you include self-care into your life without it feeling like work?
Feb 19, 2019
mom•guilt /mahm-gilt/ (noun): the unhappy feelings caused by thinking or feeling like you did something wrong, like missing your child blink, not having time to make teacher gifts, or forgetting that they don’t like scrambled eggs this week.
Feb 12, 2019
How can the stages of grief apply to the NICU experience?
Feb 5, 2019
The words that we choose are more important to children than we realize. How can vocabulary be changed to create a more positive environment?
Jan 29, 2019
We take our toys very seriously at our house. These are some of our favorites! What are yours?
Jan 22, 2019
I'm sharing my personal experience of what it's like as a mother who does double-duty with work and parenting all day.
Jan 15, 2019
Did you know that quick additions and modifications to your current routine can create a more regulated sensory environment for your child? Check out these tips to incorporate sensory activities into your every day!
Jan 8, 2019
Premature babies have immature immune systems and get sick more easily than babies born at term. Learn the precautions that can be taken to minimize risk.
Jan 1, 2019
What makes a New Year's resolution?
Dec 25, 2018
If you know a family that is in the NICU during the holidays, here are a few ideas to make their days merry and bright.
Dec 18, 2018
This year, I organized a Twelve Days of Christmas Crafting Extravaganza for Flynn. Each activity is sensory focused but is also so fun and, of course, holiday-themed.
Dec 11, 2018
After being admitted to the hospital at 27-weeks pregnant with a sudden and severe case of preeclampsia, Kristina's pregnancy went from amazing to scary. At 28-weeks, she gave birth to her son Flynn via emergency c-section. This is Flynn's story.