Honoring differences among
people supports individuals as it brings people and communities together. With
February recognized as Black History Month, what better time is there to teach
your kids the value of acceptance and how it can benefit everyone?
Practice diversity. Be a good race relations role model. Demonstrate positive race relations in
practical ways in your own life by demonstrating diversity. Ask yourself, do I have friends of other
races? If most of your friends are from
your own race and culture, you may want to consider opportunities for you and
your kids to interact with people of other races and cultures. Attend a different church. Observe
how they worship. Find something to appreciate about it and comment on it to
your child.
You may find yourself
asking, do I openly and verbally appreciate other races and cultures in front
of my child? If you see a television program about a different culture, use the
opportunity to discuss the different ways of life people experience. Find one thing
you like about it and state it out loud.
Listen first. Don’t assume
shared understandings about race. Sociologists assert that children construct differences and
similarities differently than adults. Children notice differences quite early,
but it may be for reasons that interest children and not as adults define the
difference.
A teacher noticed that six-year old girls on a playground were not
playing with one girl in particular, who was African American. The astute
teacher listened first before intervening and found that most of the girls
preferred to play with girls who wore their hair with ribbons instead of girls
who didn't use ribbons. The African American girl didn't use ribbons in her
hair. She was excluded from conversations and games.
The girls were not excluding
her because of race but because of ribbons. To adult eyes, the game looked
racist but to the children controlling the game, it made sense. The teacher
then noticed one girl sharing her ribbons with the African American girl. The
teacher chose to intervene in that moment and praised the sharing behavior. She
talked about inclusion.
Answer your child’s
questions about race and culture in an age appropriate way. Psychiatrist, Alvin Poussaint, a medical
doctor, states that there are two critical development ages when race and
culture questions are likely to occur, ages six-to-eight and the teenage years.
These two stages are times when the child's world is expanding, and his or her
values are forming or solidifying. Responding to a child's questions at these
stages in simple, honest terms is important. Even a response of "I don't
know" or "let's read about that" can show you are open to
learning about different cultures, customs and communities.
When your child comes home
and declares a classmate has parents of two different races and says,
"Isn't that weird?" You may choose to say, "Not weird, just
different."
When your teen asks, what you think about his school renaming
its sports teams because Native Americans find "Redskins" to be
offensive, you can use it as an opportunity to discuss your own believes about
racial slurs while demonstrating respect that others might not see it
differently.
If parents lead by vision
and example, they can intervene on the divisions in the nation, and homes every
day.
Laura Lyles Reagan, M.S.,
is a sociologist, parent coach and parenting journalist. She is the author of
"How to Raise Respectful Parents" and can be reached through her
website, LauraLReagan.com.
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