All agree that the key to effective parenting is communication,
which means listening to your kids as you ask them to listen to you. For the
Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William and Kate Middleton, this has
meant using a ‘chat sofa’ instead of the more traditional time out.
Zee Krstic has written an article in Women’s Health that introduces the “chat
sofa” that is used by the British royals William and Kate. The two calmly use
this technique to explain why certain behavior is unacceptable and what the
consequences will be for their three children, 6-year-old Prince George,
5-year-old Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis, who just turned 2.
“Unlike a time out or other punishments, this allows
William and Kate to ‘listen’ to the children as well,” Zrstic writes. “It's the
royal duo’s own method to plainly explain why the child in question has made a
mistake and is now having a ‘talking to,’ so to speak… The naughty child is
taken away from the scene of the row or disruption and talked to calmly by
either Kate or William. Things are explained, and consequences outlined, and
they never shout at them."
The story notes how the ‘chat sofa’ methodology is
used by all nannies and others who come in contact with William and Kate’s
kids.
Krstic points out how the immediate removal of a
child from a situation in which their behavior is disruptive or unacceptable
may actually help them feel more understood later on.
“While a scholarly review published in the Journal of
Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics suggests that time outs do not
negatively affect children in the long run, some experts believe time outs are
structured ineffectively, as they lack a conversation,” she points out.
Emily Mudd, PhD, a pediatric behavioral specialist at
the Cleveland Clinic, who is quoted in the piece, points out that discipline is
actually about teaching children to control emotions and advises parents to try
to clarify those emotions in the moment. She adds that time outs, when used,
should only last “one minute per year of age.”