For many adults, the times spent with
their fathers are among their most treasured memories. However, today as many
as one in three children in America live in a home where a biological father is
not present.
The reasons for paternal absence can vary. For example, fathers
may stay distant from a child out of fear of being inadequate or failing the
child. Despite difficult circumstances, in many cases there are solutions that
allow fathers to maintain an important presence in their children’s lives.
The following are many of the common reasons for fathers’
absences along with guidance on how to help resolve the situation, provided by Dr.
Janet Taylor, an author and community psychiatrist.
Guilt
Many fathers have guilt for not having the financial means to
buy things for their kids. Fathers need to understand their children love them
because they are their father and not because of the “things” they give them.
“A father’s time and involvement in a child’s life is a true
gift,” Dr. Taylor says. “Give the gift of your time and it will mean the world
to them.”
Family Conflict
Disputes among family members may also keep a father away. When
conflicts arise with a mother, grandparents or other family members, a child
should know he or she is not the problem, Dr. Taylor cautions.
Doubts about paternity can be an especially trying source of
family conflict. A paternity test can help eliminate this uncertainty. To help
address paternity questions, Identigene offers an affordable DNA paternity test
kit that is sold in drug stores and supercenters and is 100 percent accurate.
Dr. Taylor advocates for fathers to make an effort to spend
time with their children in the midst of conflict, even if circumstances dictate
that time together is in a group setting rather than one-on-one.
Failed Personal Connections
Another reason a father might stay away is the result of a
lack of a father figure in his own life. Dr. Taylor calls parenting the ultimate
“on the job training.” She recommends working to make a connection to break the
cycle from repeating in the next generation.
Fathers Have Value
“Fathers also need to recognize their value in their kids’
lives,” Dr. Taylor says. A recent survey sponsored by Identigene found that most
Americans who are looking to address a paternity issue understand there are many
benefits of having a biological father in a child’s life, including providing
the child with a sense of family and self (73%), enhancing the child’s self-esteem
(70%) and offering the child with a masculine parental figure (69%). According
to Fatherhood.org, children who do not have a father figure in their life are
more likely to endure financial hardship, use drugs, quit school or engage in
criminal behavior.
“This data serves as a testament that a father’s active
participation does make a difference,” Dr. Taylor says. “Hopefully it
encourages those fathers who have not had a role in their child’s life to
develop a bond that can truly re-shape a young person’s entire childhood.”
For more information, visit www.DNAtesting.com.
Story provided by Family Features