Do
you remember when you first gave birth? That beautiful bundle of joy,
completely dependent on you to survive in the world. I was extraordinarily happy. I was also
terrified.
I
thought, ‘I am fully responsible for this human being. I am the one who has to
feed her, clothe her, shelter her, and keep her safe. If I make a mistake, the
consequences could be disastrous.’ It was enthralling, wonderful, and scary all
at the same time. Now imagine not being able to nourish your newborn. Watching
them get frustrated at feeding time, knowing that they are always hungry. This
is a reality for many women who try to breastfeed and cannot.
Breastfeeding
can be a wonderful bonding experience between a mother and baby. The American
Academy of Pediatrics states that, “breastfeeding and human milk are the
normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. Given the documented
short and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding,
infant nutrition should be considered a public health issue and not only a
lifestyle choice.” Sometimes that’s easier said than done. If you try to
breastfeed and your child is crying and losing weight, breastfeeding can become
a nightmare. Many turn to formula when breastfeeding does not work. But there
are some who are sharing breast milk with those who cannot produce enough milk
for their own child, with those who are undergoing medical treatments and
cannot breastfeed, and for those who adopt or foster a child.
READ MORE: The 4 most common breastfeeding questions
Taking
precautions
Maybe
the idea of accepting donated breast milk raises a red flag or two for you. Use
a stranger’s milk for my baby? How do I
know the donor isn’t sick or a drug user? Bekki Hill, a certified lactation
counselor from Red Hook, suffered from a chronic low milk supply when she was
breastfeeding. She experienced all of the frustrations of not being able to
produce enough milk for her children. She turned to donor milk. “The first time
we took milk from a stranger, I laid up in bed awake all night," she
recalled. "Even though the donor was a doctor in New York City and she gave me
all the proof in the world that she was healthy!” It can be scary to take a
stranger’s milk. There are milk banks that screen, pasteurize, and process
milk, but that can be expensive and most of the time that milk is reserved for
preemies who are at risk.
Hill
revealed that you can share breast milk without the cost. Websites such as Milkshare.com
and the Facebook pages Modern Milksharing and Human Milk 4 Human Babies help
people learn about breast milk sharing, the precautions to take, safe handling
techniques and helps connect donors to families in need. These sites also offer community resources and
support.
READ MORE: Is breastfeeding right for you?
How
do I know it’s safe?
Hill
recommends three important steps to take when considering using donated milk.
First, once you’ve made a connection and have a donor, get to know the mom.
“This mother is feeding her baby this milk too," she said. "If the
baby is healthy and thriving, you can assume that the donor mom is confident in the safety of her
own milk.”
She also suggests that donors have nothing to gain. “Pumping is hard
work," she said. "Why would you lie about it?"
This
is different from milk banks, in which money is paid for the milk. With breast
milk donors, there is no money being exchanged. There is simply a network of
mothers with excessive supply wanting to help those in need.
Second,
most mothers are blood tested during pregnancy. It's okay, and somewhat
expected, for you to ask to see the results from those tests as well as other
lab work. Sometimes you can get a note from the donor's doctor or midwife
stating that this mother is healthy and able to donate milk.
Finally,
the most important step is safe handling. The milk needs to be shipped frozen
and used within the expiration date. “Women have been doing this pretty much
since the beginning of time," said Hill. "We have thousands and
thousands of babies in need and thousands and thousands of ounces of unused
milk out there.” Websites like Milkshare.com help connect the two.
READ MORE: Tips for managing stress while pregnant
Filling
the freezer
Galisha
Fleming of New Windsor was fostering a newborn boy while breastfeeding her own
5 month old daughter. The newborn was being fed formula and was vomiting,
colicky, and gassy. Fleming asked the biological mother if it would be okay to
breastfeed her son. Once she received permission, Fleming began breastfeeding
the newborn. His symptoms cleared up immediately.
Sarah
Holt of Wappingers Falls donated her breastmilk to people in need. She pumped
with her first born, anticipating a return to work. “I continued to pump once or
twice a day, so I'd have a store of milk for that return to the office, which never
came," she said. "By the time I realized I wasn't going back, I
already had gallons of frozen milk in the fridge. Back then I didn't really
know any other moms, so it just sat there in my freezer until my little
girl was well onto solid foods and I ended up throwing it all out.
Tossing all that milk into the trash was pretty darned depressing.” By the time
her second and third child came along, Sarah had learned about breastmilk
sharing. She knew a woman who was in need. “One mom was using a supplemental
nursing system with her baby because Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was wreaking
havoc with her milk supply. We had talked a lot about nursing and I
realized I could put my crazy oversupply to good use this time around, so I
offered to pump for her. I think I pumped twice per day for her for
several months. I'd freeze all the milk for a week or so, then we'd
meet up for a hand-off.”
There are many benefits to
breastfeeding. The American Academy of Pediatrics states, “The
AAP continues to support the unequivocal evidence that breastfeeding protects
against a variety of diseases and conditions in the infant such as: diarrhea,
respiratory tract infection, otitis media, urinary tract infection, type 1 and
type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin’s disease, and obesity.” But
breastfeeding is not a possibility for some people. Whether they have a low
milk supply, have adopted or are fostering a child, or are battling an illness,
many moms who want to breastfeed cannot. For these moms, milk sharing might
prove to be invaluable. There are precautions to take, but it’s nice to know
that there are more options available than just formula.