Hot Topics     Home and Family     Healthy Kids     Teen Health     K-12    

Break it up, or let ‘em fight it out?



Experts weigh in on whether to intervene in sibling squabbles

Experts weigh in on sibling squabbles


As the pandemic slogs on, even siblings who lived in relative harmony prior to Covid-19 have been clashing more and more. As Catherine Pearson writes in Huffington Post, “I don’t blame [my children.] We are in each other’s faces all day long. We are out of our routines. Sometimes I snap at them; sometimes I let it play out. None of it seems to help. And, goodness, I am sick of their bickering being the soundtrack of my days.”

Various experts offer tips, with details varying depending on the age of the squabblers, and the nature of the conflict. Clinical psychologist Laura Kastner, author of Getting to Calm, The Early Years: Cool-headed Strategies for Raising Happy, Caring and Independent 3-7 Year Olds, says to keep in mind Covid-19 is “a disaster,” and that parents should absolutely recalibrate expectations of harmony. “So put on the TV,” she says. “Let kids eat junk food. Don’t stress if your home feels messy and chaotic and your kids are growing increasingly feral. Get through the days and don’t worry too much about building bad habits.”

READ MORE: Harmonious siblings…is there such a thing?

Psychology professor Laurie Kramer has some more proactive advice: “You want to help them stop what they’re doing,” she says. “You might say, ‘Hey, I see the two of you are having a problem. Let’s take a pause.’ She advises not ignoring sibling skirmishes, lest kids take it as permission. Specifically, she promotes learning the “skill of stopping” when temperatures rise. Taking a pause. (Easier said than done.)

Kastner advises having each child talk it out, so the feel their feelings are validated.

The upshot: screaming at kids to stop, and simply shutting things down are both counter-productive. And if the conflict is violent or humiliating, all agree that intervention is key. Children can – and absolutely should – learn coping skills and conflict strategies as early as possible. Perhaps the pandemic is the perfect opportunity.



Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • Get Hooked on Fishing, Not Drugs

    Third Annual Orange County District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby

    The Third District Attorney’s Office Youth Fishing Derby will run from April 1 through Sept. 4, 2023. The event is open to young people between the ages of 4 and 18 who are children or grandchildren of Orange County residents. read more »
  • Kids aren't eating fruits and veggies

    Happiest Baby's Dr. Harvey Karp has tips to change that

    A new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that approximately 32% of 1- to 5-year-olds did not eat a single piece of fruit a day and nearly one half (~49%) didn't eat any vegetables a day. Roughly 51% drank a sugar-sweetened beverage, like fruit drinks or soda, at least once a week. read more »
  • 5 sleep habits essential for heart health

    Make sure you get your zzz's with these tips

    In the days following a time change due to daylight saving time, research shows a marked increase in heart attacks and strokes. However, losing sleep anytime can be a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease. read more »
  • Take these 6 steps to manage your blood pressure

    Hypertension can be dangerous

    High blood pressure, also known as hypertension, affects nearly half of adults in the United States, and only about 1 in 4 with this condition have it under control, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). read more »
  • Make your St. Patrick's Day spread green with envy

    These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or an appetizer

    Freshen up your St. Patrick’s Day menu with easy, light sandwiches inspired by the traditional color of the festivities. These open-faced noshes can be perfect for lunch, snack time or even as an appetizer for get-togethers with friends and family. read more »
  • Lucky mint brownie perfection

    A twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate

    How lucky you must be to come across this recipe just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This one is a twisted combination of mint and sweet chocolate that’s sure to have almost anyone’s taste buds screaming “yum.” This dessert might just be the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow this year. read more »
  • 3 ways parents can encourage social emotional learning in children

    Parents focus on social emotional skills, mental health, kindness and understanding differences

    Most parents would agree the quality of their children’s education plays a key role in their overall development. While parents are optimistic about the future of education, they also recognize children have educational needs beyond what is considered the standard. read more »
  • Selecting a health care provider

    Resources to guide your selection

    Getting health care for yourself or a loved one is a big responsibility, especially if you’re just getting started with Medicare or have changes in your life, such as a new diagnosis of a condition or disease. It can be overwhelming if you need services like nursing home care, have to find a new doctor or get home health care. read more »
  • 5 simple solutions for proper nasal hygiene

    Keep your nasal passages clean, clear and moisturized

    Your nose is essential for conditioning the air you breathe and serves as the first line of defense against dust, pollution, bacteria, viruses and more. The presence of these substances in your nasal passages can trigger infections, disease and illness. read more »
  • Have a bump on your foot?

    Don’t ignore it

    Have a lump or bump on your foot? Whether it’s painful or not, it could potentially signal a serious condition. Foot and ankle surgeons warn it’s important to have it checked out, no matter its size or location on your foot. read more »