“After seeing a picture while I was pregnant and explaining
that he was in there, my son asked ‘Mommy, how did I get in your belly?’ (Insert
awkward look here.).” — Crystal M.
“My daughter asks all women who have babies if they gave
birth to those babies. She also tells them when she gets older she will be
having babies! She once asked me why it hurts daddy to get hit in the penis.
How's that for awkward?” — Katie A.
“Our new cat went into heat last week and my daughter
couldn't understand why she was acting so bizarre around our older, neutered
cat. I had to explain a LOT more about how babies are made than I ever thought
I would to my 5-year-old daughter! — Liz W.
“I had an unfinished tattoo with three stars; two had my
kids’ initials and one was blank. My now step-son asked why the last one was
blank. I told him for if I have another baby, their initials would go there.
Then he asked, ‘Where do babies come from?’ I told him ‘Ask your dad!’” — Holly
K.
“When my 10-year-old son saw me changing his sister’s diaper
for the first time, he said, ‘Oh my gosh, she has two butts!’ I was nearly in
tears.” — Danielle G.
“We had the ‘Where do
babies come from’ talk with our 7-year-old and 10-year-old. We said we found
them under a cabbage leaf and brought them inside because they're so cute! My 7-year-old
asked, ‘Mommy, can we find a baby brother under the green bean plants? Because
cabbage gives my brother gas and I don't want another brother with gas. I just
can't take it!’” — Cortney S.
“Our neighbor’s dog came to visit our male dog on his run
and before you knew it they were stuck together. And I slipped and said to my
hubby, ‘I guess she's pregnant now!’ The questions started rolling in from our
daughters, 8 and 5. We told them that when their (the dogs) butts get stuck
together, they get pregnant. My girls looked at each other in sheer horror! I
had to laugh. But I'm hoping they don't get too close to boys for a while. I’m
dreading the real talk.” — Bethany D.
“When my daughter was 4 or 5, she asked me, ‘Why does Daddy
have an extra long sprayer on his vagina? And what are those things behind?
Beets?’ I couldn't even contain my laughter. I was in tears. So now we still
joke that girls have vaginas and boys have sprayers and beets.” — Adrienne M.
“My daughter decided on her own at age 3 that she (and her
twin sister) grew inside my belly until they just fell out one day and the
doctor caught them. Then she answered her own question of, ‘Dad, why do you
have a carrot in your pants? Oh wait, I know. It's your belly button growing
back.’” — Roxanne F.
“I had to get an
ultrasound of my neck, and my 4-year-old remembered the last time I had an
ultrasound, I was pregnant with her sister. Then she asked, ‘Mom, did you
swallow a baby?! Did it get stuck in your throat?!’ She still tells everyone
she meets that I swallowed a baby.” — Melanie C.
“My daughter: ‘Can I
open and close my vagina?’ Me: ‘Sure, if you want to. Just go in your bedroom.’
From the bedroom I hear, ‘Open, close, open, close.’” — Carolyn T.
“My 3-year-old son:
‘Will I get boobies when I grow up?’ Me: ‘No, only ladies get boobies.’ His
reply: ‘Hmph no fair!’ (I should add that he was wearing my bra during this
conversation!)” — Lindsay B.
“My 5-year-old son: ‘Mommy,
do you have a penis?’ Me: ‘No, sweetie, I don't.’ Him: ‘What do you have?’ Me:
(not ready to have this conversation): ‘Um … not a penis.’ The next day, my son
walks into daycare and says, ‘My mom has Not A Penis!’” — Andrea P.
“My son at the age of 6 said, ‘Mamma, I know doctors get
babies out, but how do animals, like bears, have their babies in the woods?
There aren't any doctors out there for them.’ I was stumped on what to say and
I'm a horrible liar so I just flat out told him that they came out of their
private area. I will NEVER forget the wide-eyed look of horror on his face!” —
Heather G.
“When my daughter was 3 she noticed a boy’s parts for the
first time (while I was changing him). Her jaw dropped and she said, ‘He has a
wrong thing on his right side! I'm glad God didn't give me wrong parts!’” —
Sheena M.
“It wasn't so much
what my 5-year-old son Fiorello asked, but rather his explanation of, uh,
certain occurrences. Fiorello: ‘Mommy, I think I know why my pee-pee gets big.’
Me: (sighing) ‘Why buddy?’ Fiorello: ‘Because I lie, like Pinocchio.’” — Heather L.
“My girlfriend and I
were having a mom and kids sleep over. I was changing my little boy and her
daughter asked ‘Why do boys have tails?’” — Tami V.
“I took my 2-year-old with me to return bras to Macy’s and
as we walked through the racks to get to the counter he shouted, ‘Mommy, there
are boobies all over the place!’” — Danielle M.
“'Do babies come out of your tushy?' 'And why don’t men
have big boobs?' Also, my son recently announced, 'My private parts were made
in China!'” — Kimberly M.
"I have a twin brother and when were around 2 going
on 3 years old, our mom was coming to the conclusion that though it was
incredibly time effective, bath time was going to have to be separate for the
two of us. This was solidified when during our next bath, my brother turns to our mother with an incredibly perplexed and concerned look and asks,
'Mommy, why did hers fall off? ….. Is mine going to?!'" —
Elizabeth G.
"My youngest child's newest favorite phrase
is 'Pee pee comes from my penis!' which he likes to shout from the top of his
lungs in the most embarrassing places. A few weeks ago, I was walking into the
food store when he decided to start chanting the phrase as loud as he could. My
oldest turned to me and said, 'Why do I have a penis and you don't?' just as we
were entering the store." — Pamela P.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I’m from the South.
We’re not allowed to ask about sex, think about sex, or have sex!" —
Brittany M.
"When I was about 13 years old, my dad, my
8-year-old brother and I were watching a cowboys and Indians saga on TV. The
Indians raided the village while the cowboys were away and the major concern
was would the women be having Indian babies. My brother asked how they knew
that. My dad got up to leave the room saying, 'You tell him.'" —
Terrie G.