Dr. Douglas Newton, Chief Medical Officer at SonderMind
As the summer draws to a close, the upcoming school year often
brings with it a wave of excitement, as well as anticipation and nervousness
for children. As a child psychiatrist, Dr. Douglas Newton, Chief Medical Officer at SonderMind has witnessed firsthand the impact
that back to school anxiety can have on kids and their families,
especially following the COVID pandemic when we were all at home for varying
amounts of time. A 2023 study from Nemours Children’s Health found that 86%
of school-aged children reported worrying at least some of the time, and
that more than 1 in 3 children ages 9-13 worry at least once a week. The
biggest worries that children had were about school (64%), which
matches what I’ve seen in patients and my own children.
School avoidance, also known as school refusal, is a
phenomenon characterized by a child's reluctance or refusal to
attend school. By understanding the specific fears and concerns driving a
child’s avoidance, parents can develop effective strategies to address and
alleviate their child's anxiety.
While school avoidance can be seen at any point during the
year, as we approach the first day of school and are thinking about
how to best prepare our children for a successful school year, it is
an opportune time to explore the causes behind school avoidance, its
association with anxiety, and provide strategies for parents to support their
children in overcoming these challenges.
Differentiate Anxiety in Your Teens and Younger Children: Teenagers
experiencing school avoidance often grapple with worries about
their social standing, fear of embarrassment, or feeling singled out by their peers.
Social situations that involve larger groups or public areas within
the school, such as navigating hallways or eating lunch in the cafeteria,
can trigger significant anxiety for them. On the other hand, younger children
tend to worry more about being away from their parents or caregivers. Their
concerns revolve around "what if" scenarios, such as something
happening to their loved ones while they are at school, if someone will
forget to pick them up or if someone won’t play with them on the playground. It
is crucial for parents to identify and acknowledge these specific fears in
order to provide targeted support and reassurance.
Be Proactive: While intervention strategies are vital, prevention also
plays a significant role in managing school avoidance. If parents are
aware of their child's previous struggles with anxiety
and school avoidance, they can implement a preemptive exposure and
anxiety reduction plan. This plan should be initiated 2-4 weeks before the
start of the new school year. Activities such as visiting
the school, locating their locker, meeting their teacher, or having lunch
in the cafeteria can help familiarize the child with
the school environment and get them ready for that first day. By
proactively addressing anxiety and establishing a reward system for attending
and staying in school, parents can create a positive association with
the school experience.
READ MORE: Child Behavior: Making the shift from pool to school
Talk About It: Be open and honest with your child about your own
struggles with anxiety. Did you have a hard time going back to school as
a kid? Do you have a hard time preparing yourself for a first day at a new job?
In the same study I mention above, researchers found that 67% of kids will go
to advice from their parents on the topic of school anxiety, so if
parents can talk openly about their own struggles with anxiety, past or
present, it can help a child feel less alone and more open to expressing their
concerns with you when they arise.
Be Thoughtful About Reentry: If a child or teenager remains out
of school for an extended period, reintegration can become
increasingly challenging. To address this issue head on, proactive
communication with your school is important. I highly recommend that
parents initiate conversations with a principal, teacher, or counselor to devise
a personalized "re-entry plan." This usually involves exposing the
student to school gradually, say coming to
the school office or going in on a weekend or evening when fewer
people are around. They can then work up to half days until finally the student
feels they have mastered their fears and are more confident and competent to
return full-time. I have seen this gradual exposure technique work, especially
when coupled with support and rewards.
Seek Professional Support: In some cases, the anxiety
and school avoidance experienced by a child may require
additional assistance. Parents should consider involving a mental health
professional who can provide specialized support and guidance. SonderMind
providers often work with parents throughout the school year on these
sorts of issues. A professional can help identify and address the underlying
causes of anxiety, develop tailored anxiety management techniques, and
collaborate with the school to create an individualized plan for the
child's success.
As the world navigates the continued challenges of a post-COVID era, it is
essential for us as parents to be attuned to our child's anxiety around
returning to school, whether that be on the first day or mid-year. By
understanding the distinct fears experienced by teenagers and younger children,
parents can implement targeted, thoughtful strategies to alleviate anxiety and
encourage regular, uninterrupted school attendance.
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