Hot Topics     Home and Family    

A “good enough” parent is good enough



Go easy on yourself

A “good enough” parent is good enough


Even though we’re all adjusting to various “new normals” of the Covid-19 Pandemic, it’s important for parents in particular to realize everyone is still living through a crisis. Crisis rules are different than non-crisis rules, at least in theory. For example, it’s more okay than ever to not sweat the small stuff, and the small stuff category is now much bigger.

Recognizing this is crucial, especially regarding parenting, because it allows all of us to cut ourselves some slack when we inevitably, and repeatedly, make mistakes or lose patience, responding badly to stress. No one is getting this exactly right, partly because no one knows what “exactly right” means.

Writer and editor Catherine Pearson notes how more than 50 million parents have lost income during the COVID-19 pandemic, while millions of parents have left their jobs because it’s their “best” option. Those adverse situations, of course, are on top of life-or-death concerns about one’s own health, and the health – both physical and mental – of loved ones. And then there’s the uncertainty of how long we, as a collective, will be dealing with all of this. No one can give an answer on that.

READ MORE: The isolation of pandemic parenting is unprecedented

This is all very stressful, especially for someone tasked with raising a child. And all of it is transpiring against a backdrop of the most divisive election in recent memory and the pervasiveness of social media bringing us the Big, the Bad and the Ugly. The latter is inherently competitive and deceitful, leading parents to believe others have a better handle on things because that’s what their social media feed communicates.

Pearson has some good advice from psychologist Claire Nicogossian, clinical assistant professor at Brown University and author of Mama, You Are Enough: How to Create Calm, Joy and Confidence Within the Chaos of Motherhood – about how parents can go easier on themselves, in pandemic times and otherwise.

READ MORE: Coping, confidence, and coronavirus

When advising parents to go easy on themselves, Nicogossian uses this metaphor: If you were swimming in an ocean and knew there were sharks all around you, you wouldn’t pause and ask yourself: Am I good swimmer? Am I doing this right? You’d put your head down and swim. You’d do what you needed to do to stay safe.

Additionally, she advises to carve out five minutes a day to give undivided attention, and to be more contemplative about why certain things cause self-critical feelings. Ultimately, she strongly supports giving one’s self a pat on the back for any small victory. 



Other articles by HVP News Reporters


  • View eagles in Mongaup

    Mongaup Valley Wildlife Management Area designated a Bird Conservation Area

    Mongaup was designated a Bird Conservation Area because of its unique combination of habitats important to bird species. read more »
  • Hike Smart & Be Prepared

    Safety tips for getting out in the winter months

    NYS DEC offers tips to keep you and your family safe while enjoying the outdoors this winter. read more »
  • Hudson Highlands Nature Museum’s Homeschool Naturalist Program

    Adventure Awaits Students Ages 6-9

    The Hudson Highlands Nature Museum’s Homeschool Naturalist Program for children ages 6-9 has quickly become one of the Nature Museum’s most beloved programs. Originally created out of the needs of families undertaking distance/learning, the program has proved so popular it has remained in place by demand. read more »
  • 5 ways parents can get prepared for student loan repayments

    Tips to help you survive student loan payments

    If you’re a parent who took out a federal student loan for your child and you’ve been taking advantage of the payment freeze as part of the COVID-19 emergency relief, then things are about to change. Starting January 31, 2022, payments will resume and no further extensions are expected. read more »
  • STEAM learning toys for your little ones

    Young kids have fun while learning letters and numbers

    Edx Education teaches letters and numbers through hands-on play read more »
  • DCP offers tips to help New Yorkers stay safe and warm

    NYS Division of Consumer Protection warns New Yorkers of carbon monoxide and fire hazards during extreme cold weather

    The New York State Division of Consumer Protection today issued a consumer alert about the dangers of carbon monoxide and fire hazards in extreme cold weather. The winter months pose the most risk for these hazards—as the temperatures drop, consumers may turn to dangerous heating alternatives to stay warm. Propane heaters, generators, space heaters and/or outdoor grills all pose lethal risks of carbon monoxide poisoning and fire hazards when used improperly. read more »
  • New gardening series with Newburgh Free Library

    Learn about herbs, microgreens, seeds, planning and planting

    Newburgh Free Library has a new gardening series starting with NUFFI, or Newburgh Urban Farm and Food, starting in February! read more »
  • Get up to 4 free at-home Covid-19 tests for your family

    The Biden Administration to Begin Distributing At-Home, Rapid COVID-19 Tests

    The Biden Administration is Buying One Billion Tests to Give to Americans for Free; Online Ordering of a Half-Billion Tests Begins on January 19th; Builds on Significant Actions to Expand Testing Capacity and Increase Access to Free Testing read more »
  • New York’s Going Foam Free in 2022

    NYS is working to keep our environment safe

    In 2020, New York State adopted the nation's strongest statewide ban of expanded polystyrene, single-use foam food and beverage containers, and polystyrene loose fill packaging materials, commonly known as packing peanuts. read more »
  • Sherman Artists Open Studio – This Weekend!

    Painters, photographers, mixed media, jewelers, fused glass, and fabric artists will open their home studios

    This weekend is the very first Sherman Artists First Open Studio! Fifteen local Sherman artists are participating in the Sherman Open Studio Tour on Saturday and Sunday, December 4th and 5th, 2021, 10 am – 4 pm. Painters, photographers, mixed media, jewelers, fused glass, and fabric artists will open their home studios or participate in pop-up studios read more »