Like so many others on New Year’s Eve, I make resolutions for the coming year – “lose 50 pounds” and “finally pay off all of that credit card debt” have been just a couple of my most outrageous goals. It seems that each becomes more extreme than the last and, of course, many of them are forgotten about by February 1^st. I know that I’m not alone in this either, but power to those that are successful year after year! For those like me that aren’t, let’s be honest: some of these resolutions are clearly unattainable and others get lost in the craziness of the everyday, mostly because they aren’t all that important.

I wanted to try something different, so I reflected on the past year:

I thought of all the times that I felt guilty about asking for help so that I could take a shower, answer backlogged work emails and calls, or run to the store.

I thought of each time I went to bed instead of cleaning the house, only to beat myself up about it the next morning.

I thought of all the tears I shed over the stress of running from appointment to appointment, trying so hard to be on time and prepared.

I thought about how inadequate I felt comparing myself to other moms and wishing I could be and do more.

I thought about all the negative things that I felt about myself and tried to remember how many times I gave myself credit for the things that I have accomplished. Honestly, the put-downs far outweighed the compliments.

Being a parent has taught me so much, but I have learned a lot about the importance of me. As a mother, I am a chef, teacher, boo-boo fixer, tantrum tamer, cheerleader, housekeeper, tear wiper, fort builder…the list goes on and on. Every day, I have a tiny little person that counts on me and loves me unconditionally. He thinks the world of me, and if a child can see my value, then I should, too. In the coming year, my resolution is to be kinder to myself; I don’t need to do it all, just be the best me that I can.

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Underestimated Strength is a collection of posts all about our journey through life as we navigate preemie parenting after the NICU. You can read my posts here every Tuesday! Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram, where I speak freely about our story and advocacy.

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